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Ada Nggak Ada

Ah yang gemes ngingetin rayuan gombal elo walau terkadang bikin gue seru. Kalo dibilangin ginih tepet ke muka elo, gue brani motong kepala rusa, motong mobil bokap, makan jalan dong sih… elo bakal tertawa. Malah gue tau elo pasti gengsi. Elo itu apa bener apa nggak? Gue ga bakalan terima elo atau siapa-siapa lagi kalo ternyata kalian cuman mempermainkan gue. Dikunyahin kaya permen karet, abis manis gue diludahkan. Bener-bener gombal kalo rayuan elo itu sampe gue ketahuan di anter ke multiple recipients di hape elo. Jangan sampe gue gelerin elo brenggg yach! Ya udahhh, minggir!

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Walaupun

Walaupun batuk sampai sakit kepala, sakit dada, sakit hati, sakit jiwa… saya ada. Menulis, memadam, membetulkan, menulis lagi, mengkritik diri. Ada. Tak ke mana. Walaupun mendapat tawaran kerja di Temasek yang membuat saya teruja, saya masih di sini. Dekat-dekat sini. Semuanya sedang saya pertimbangkan. Kalau saya ke sana, siapakah di sini yang akan ke sana demi saya? Kalau saya di sana, siapakah di sana yang akan menemankan saya pulang ke sini sesekali? Walaupun saya tiada jawapan dan walaupun jawapannya ialah tiada, saya ada. Di sini. Walaupun…

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I Am His

God gives what is His, and God takes only what is His.

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We can only love.

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Vel Done!

This is Vel, Kitreena’s teddy. The name came from the word velvet for one very obvious reason, if you ever wonder. If Vel is successful in keeping his existence in Kitreena’s life for another four years… her relationship with this gentle creature would be one of the most loyal I know. No, I mean… their relationship would be the only truehearted one I have ever known.

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Yeah, I am very cutting. I know. So cutting, I might as well just marry a teddy bear once I am out of this one. And when I find one, I am going to name him Val. Yeah, Kilmer.

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Practical Principle

Everyone in my family wears their watch on the right wrist. But the only lefthanded one is Edrick. It was just a matter of preference, at first. And when we realized that many of us have been doing so, all of us somewhat decided to make it sort of a ‘family thing’ kind of thing. Like, yeah! Let’s all wear our watch on our right hand, Supian Clan!

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It once became a discussion between myself and Brother Jay who looked at it from the practicality point of view. Well, I do understand why a watch has to be worn on the left wrist if one is righthanded, and vice versa. Nice and practical, yes. But all I go by is comfort. I like wearing my watch on the right wrist and I don’t know why. I don’t have to know why. And since my siblings, my dad and mom felt the same way, we just did it and now keep on doing it just because.  We don’t have to have a reason. Or do we?

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I guess being a practical person like Brother Jay, everything has to adhere to a principle as well. As practical as not getting one’s watch shaken too much by the superior hand, one shall wear the watch on the subordinate hand. Fine and dandy. And that’s the way it should be, eh?

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Hmmm… patutlah!

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Questionable Nature

Yes, I have been asked a lot of questions about my ‘Abang‘ entries. Some questions show curiosity. Some show confusion. Quite a few are downright accusative! 🙂

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But what can I say. Despite my gentle nature, my imagination is wild.

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Here is a list of questions I have been asked of late:

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  • Who is Abang?
  • Is ‘Ida’ Enida?
  • Are the stories from your experience?
  • When did this happen?
  • Are you having an affair?
  • The letter in By Hand, did you really write it to Abang?
  • Isn’t your Abang an omputeh?
  • How come the conversation is so Malay?
  • Have you remarried?
  • Whose stories are these?

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Don’t you feel like asking some of these questions yourself? Ask, then. And with a big smile… I’d say, “Good questions!”

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Pablo Neruda

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Sonnet XVII

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

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I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.
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I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way
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than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

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Men-Ding

Us, the Mesra bunch, were going through the possible menu for the school lunchbox at bedtime last night. Monchies refuse to have the rice lunch provided by the school these days. And I, almost apologetically, must admit that these rascals are not rice mice. Having rice everyday at mealtimes for Kitreena and Edrick is like us truly Asians having bread for breakfast, for lunch, for dinner and at snack time 5 days a week. Boleh?

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So I bet you could imagine how overly displeased I was when Bibik told me we were out of bread. At 8.15pm Tuesday night! But oh well, if we’re out, we’re out, ya know. How else can it be? Monchies went to bed and so did Bibik, at 8.30pm. But I, the Questa è Enida, had to make a run to Cold Storage Mont Kiara for some bread. And while I was at it, I actually got some bagels, sausages, cumin Gouda cheese and some Coons, some choy sum, kyuri, cherry tomatoes, snow peas, yogurt, Korean strawberries and bananas. And oh! Yeah I got bread too!

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A lot of things needed mending at home, and I thought while I was still at it, I might as well look for the replacement for these…

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It took me a while at the lightbulb section to find the right one as this was the light for the Electrolux kitchen hood. I wasn’t all that hopeful to see any at Cold Storage. But I looked anyway. And I caught myself staring at, and then staring through the lighbulb boxes for a few long minutes, thinking that it was never my ‘department’ to look at lightbulbs before. It used to be a man thing in my house. There used to be a man in my house too. 🙂

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The right lightbulb was not available. But the blinking thought I was having while looking, certainly switched a lightbulb on in my head. I actually had an ‘Oprah’s Aha! Moment’ there and then!

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I moved on to the battery section nevertheless, thinking that at some point in time, I must have been the brightest light in someone’s eyes. And at some point in time, I must have been that energetic pink bunny rabbit ready to toy around with any possibilities life had in store. But then, life happened. And just like a burned-out lightbulb and a drained-out battery, I have been replaced. Out of sight, out of mind.

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I drove home with neither a new lightbulb, nor a new battery. But I must have taken the longest route home. For it sure felt like I was driving 260km long thinking about finding a replacement. Maybe the next time around I should look for one that is bright enough to light up the whole kitchen – not just the stove, the one that has a lifetime warranty, and for a battery that is rechargeable for ever and ever. And ever after.

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Maybe I need a heart replacement. Banyak sangat roti and not enough nasi.

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Buat pengunjung Questa è Enida yang berada di Jakarta Raya dan Bandung, juga yang bukan…

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Kalau sudah ditakdirkan bahwa hidupku ini kuserahkan buat membahagiakanmu, dan aku bahagia dengan penyerahan itu… simpanlah aku.

.Selamat menunggu mentari, langit biru, hari baru.

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Jauh-Jauh

Malam simpul jerat,
renda tepi paya;
dalam sampul surat,
ada hati saya.

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Pucuk lah delima,
di peti buah pauh;
rajuk sudah lama,
hati dibawa jauh.

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Jatuh bak serangkap,
lekat bak sehelai,
jauh nak didakap,
dekat nak dibelai.

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Todak di perahu,
haruan lain-lain;
tidak saya tahu,
tuan main-main.

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