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Still Got The Blues

February 14, 2014 by Enida

What I miss most every Valentine’s Day is making a card for my Mom. She was the very first person I ever sent a Valentine’s Day card to. The year was 1991. She never really knew what Valentine’s Day was, and she never really cared. All she knew was she would get a card from me in February. A card made with, full of, and sent with love.

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I never took notice where the cards went until one day after a few years of NOT sending her Valentine’s Day cards anymore. I was looking for a nail-clipper in her old closet and saw a card slipped between her batik sarongs. I pulled the card out and then I saw another. And another. And another. But staying true to Mom’s house rule, I put the cards back where they belonged.

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Last night when Edrick wished me ‘Happy ALMOST Valentine’s Day’ before bed and told me that he would be making a Valentine’s card at school on the real Valentine’s Day, I thought of my Mom and all my handmade Valentine’s cards she kept in her closet. Maybe this year I’ll start making Valentine’s card again. For Monchies. And for myself.

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Perhaps a blue heart would be a good start.

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Blue Valentine's Heart

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Posted in Inside Enida, Mom | Leave a Comment »

Siri Bercakap Dedek-Kaka VI

January 20, 2014 by Enida

His head looked heavy. With his right hand supporting the head on one side, Edrick was in deep thought… left hand holding the spoon, feeding himself supper, super slowly.

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Edrick: Mom… I’ve been thinking a lot.

Mommy: I can see that. What have you been thinking about Monch?

Edrick: I’ve been thinking… every time I have arguments with Kitreena, I think I have a feery.

Mommy: A fear, you mean?

Edrick: No, a feery.

Mommy: A fairy?

Edrick: No! A feeeeery.

Kitreena: A theory, Mom.

Mommy: Ohhh! A theory. Okay, you have a theory…

Edrick: My theory is, every time me and Kitreena have an argument, she would say something to make it sound like she is always better than me.

Kitreena: No! I never said that!

Edrick: Yeah, but you always want me to feel that way.

Kitreena: But I never said anything to make it look like I am better than you.

Mommy: Not everything is said in words, Kitreena. It’s in the body language. It’s in the attitude.

Peas in The Singapore Pod...

Kitreena: Yeah, but I didn’t mean what I said.

Mommy: So Kitreena, your lesson is… only say what you mean, and mean what you say. And you, Edrick… people can say anything. But don’t let it get to you. If you think you are good, you are good. You don’t even have to say it. Greatness speaks for itself. Anybody can be good. But not everybody can be kind. So be kind. End of story.

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We carried on with supper quietly, trying to clean up Bibik Sun’s uncrunchy kangkung tumis leftovers while I was busy trying to come up with a feery why my throat felt like it had been sliced by a ceramic knife.

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Posted in Monchies, Sense | Tagged | 2 Comments »

More Than Words

January 20, 2014 by Enida

The more I deal with difficult challenging people, the more I learn about myself. About my patience and about my capacity to restrain myself from saying something outrageously smart, or more often than not… painfully obvious.

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The Kangkung ChallengeJust yesterday… I learned that I am actually very particular when it comes to cooking vegetables; leafy green vegetables, specifically speaking. Not many of them need cooking much anyway, except those that are exotic like tapioca leaves, the edible ferns and the pumpkin leaves.

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Kailan, bak choy, spinach and kangkung are among the very delicate green vegies that wilt very quickly. That was why when I bought the three ‘ikat’ of kangkung at Mercato yesterday, I knew what I was going to do with it. Tumis belacan or taucu. And I was going to do it my way.

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But when everything was ready and prepared by my helper, she started talking about how she would usually cook kangkung dishes back home. Like this lah, like that lah. And since she doesn’t eat my cooking much – I noticed, perhaps she doesn’t like my Chinese-style cooking – I decided to let her do it her way.

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So my helper cooked the kangkung her way.

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Halfway through, I reminded her to not let it simmer too long or the leaves would wilt. She added COLD water for more ‘kuah’, waited for the kuah to boil and turned off the heat, put the lid on and let it sit.

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I took a very very deep breath, said nothing, and went on YouTube to look for a soothing song like “Didn’t I Tell You” by Rumi. It was actually a poem with a background instrumental song I have grown to love over the years. I so needed some distraction! This kangkung challenge was really making me think of how to make my helper realize that she was overcooking the vegetable!

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It wasn’t her. It was me. I don’t speak my mind very well. I either cut like a knife or burn like wildfire. But I remained silent.

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Little that I knew… God was listening. And He did all the speaking to my helper when she was scooping the kangkung from the pot into the serving bowl. “Kelayuan ini kangkung, Buk. Malah kebanyakan air. Nanti kalo masak ini lagi, saya coba, jangan kelamaan di api. Saya tuh senang sama yang kraok kraok kraok kalo dikunyah.”

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I just smiled.

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I thanked God last night – more than usual – for the strength He gave me to hold my tongue.

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Posted in Bebel, Bibik, Sense | 2 Comments »

Nasi Le Mak

January 12, 2014 by Enida

All that I wanted sangat-sangat di pagi Selasa yang sunyi sepi itu selepas Monchies ke sekolah ialah sebungkus Nasi Lemak. That’s all! Yang mudah, yang ringkas, yang kecil. Okay, I might have to have two if they are pretty small, but that’s not the point. Saya cuma nak kan nasi lemak bungkus. Nasi lemak bungkus yang macam dulu-dulu.

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Nasi lemak bungkus macam dulu-dulu...

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Syarat utamanya ialah, the bungkusan mestilah ada daun pisang dan kertas suratkhabar. I don’t want banana leaf and brown paper. No! Tak nak. Tak sah. Saya nak yang dibungkus dengan daun pisang dan NEWSPAPER paper. The brown paper is too fancy, too mengada-ngada. And plus, what is there to read after eating the nasi lemak if I am eating alone? Reading makes one look not too lonely at a restaurant, or warung, or in the kitchen, or wherever.

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Tak nak nasi lemak bungkus brown paper... too 'uniformed'. Tiada sentuhan kasih.

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That was all I wanted. Nasi lemak bungkus. Tak nak yang dalam styrofoam containers. Tak nak yang bungkus dengan plastic sheet inside newspaper or brown paper. Tak nak yang dalam recyclable transparent plastic container — tak kira lah yang boleh atau tak boleh masuk ketuhar mikrogelombang. Chewah, ketuhar mikrogelombang, okay! Dah lama tak guna perkataan ketuhar. Siapa je yang guna perkataan ketuhar, anyway?

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So, ini lah dia… luahan hati dari hasrat yang tak sampai di pagi Selasa. Well, I was on the phone for an hour or so that morning, rambling away about nasi lemak business and whether it is still do-able to sell “Nasi Lemak Seringgit Sebungkus”. We even talked about the feasibility of getting the supply of banana leaves from Karak. If we stick a plastic spoon into each bungkusan and put them at the drive-thru-newspaper-stand, people who buy newspapers on the way to work can have breakfast too. Even people at bus stands can have our handy nasi lemak.

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But I did not get my nasi lemak yang macam dulu-dulu that pagi Selasa. I ended up breakfasting with sekeping kerak roti Masimo dip-dip in secawan Nescafé Gold dan dengan linangan airmata. Saya sebenarnya rindu nasi lemak bungkus Mak saya yang macam dulu-dulu.

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Nasi Lemak Pictures:
Special thanks to AVLXYZ.

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Posted in Makan-Makan, Mom | 4 Comments »

Because I Can

January 10, 2014 by Enida

If tomorrow comes....

Today, I just want to love you
because I want to love you.
And because I can.

Tomorrow will only matter tomorrow.

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Posted in Inside Enida | Leave a Comment »

You Make Me Feel

January 10, 2014 by Enida

It was nine in the evening and the house was very quiet after Kitreena was done talking on the phone with Paola. She was supposed to be in bed at eight just like Edrick but needed help from her best friend who was not available until about nine. Oh well… sometimes I just have to trust these little women.

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I waited for her upstairs and was eating late dinner quietly when she came up to the kitchen and asked me this question in the tone of voice that reminded me of my mother.

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Kitreena: Do you do this every night?

Mommy: Do what?

Kitreena’s question somehow made me nervous!

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Kitreena: Do you eat dinner late like this every night, when we are in bed?

Mommy: No, I don’t! I didn’t eat dinner at all last night.

And this question made me feel defensive and curious if she was going to preach me about healthy eating habit.

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Kitreena: Mom, when I see you eating on your own like that, it looks so… uh, so… lonely.

Mommy: *smiles* It is lonely. But it’s okay, Monch. I’m okay.

Kitreena: I always feel that way when I see somebody eating all by themselves. I feel like sitting with them and just be there so they won’t be so lonely.

Mommy: Come sit by me, then…

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Sandaran jiwa Enida...

We sat at the kitchen table for a while, saying nothing much, before I chased her to bed.

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It was the most un-lonely moment in my life.

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Posted in Monchies | Tagged | Leave a Comment »

In Every Mile…

January 10, 2014 by Enida

Knowing that you are there for me, is like knowing…
that there is a picnic area in every mile of my long journey.

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If life was a picnic...

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Posted in Sense | Leave a Comment »

Silly Angsa

December 18, 2013 by Enida

The drive down to Singapore started with the Drive-Thru McDonald’s lunch just before the Sg. Besi toll. I hadn’t even had breakfast at that point, but I ordered Fillet-o-Fish set anyway and was determined to eat-n-drive.
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Edrick: Mom, are you going to eat that Fillet-o-Fish?

Mommy: Yeah, I suppose…

Kitreena: Oh Mom, Mom! Give Edrick a silly answer please! You haven’t given him silly answers for a loooong time!

Edrick: Hahahaha! Yeah Mom. Give me a silly answer.

Mommy: Hehehe okay okay. Ask me again, Edrick.

Edrick: Mom, are you going to eat that Fillet-o-Fish?

Mommy: No, Edrick. I’m going to throw it off the bridge when we are crossing the border because I can’t eat a Malaysian burger in Singapore.

Kitreena: Hahahaha!

Edrick: Hahahaha! Mommy that’s so silly.

Mommy: Well… you asked for it. Hahahaha!.

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Filly silly!.

I never got to eat-n-drive anyway. And the Malaysian Fillet-o-Fish ended up in the Singaporean garbage bin 24 hours after crossing the border anyway.

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Silly me!

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Posted in Humor, Monchies | Tagged | 1 Comment »

That’s The Way Love Is

November 27, 2013 by Enida

It was a light and easy morning sending Monchies to school in the morning drizzle. As we hit Jalan Kuching near Bulatan Segambut, the Light & Easy channel started playing Whitney Houston’s “Where Do Broken Hearts Go”. And oh! I had a good time singing along to such ‘classic’ that I wasn’t really paying attention to its lyrics. I was just amazed I still knew it by heart!

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When the song ended…

Kitreena: Mom…

Mommy: Yes.

Kitreena: Is it true that if somebody loves you, they will always love you?

Mommy: Uh… I suppose.

Kitreena: But Daddy doesn’t love you anymore.

Mommy: Maybe he does, but he loves others more now. And it’s okay sayang.

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MomKit

She looked away, and exhaled…
Light & Easy went on to play “That’s The Way Aha Aha”.

I definitely liked that, ahaks!

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Posted in Monchies | 2 Comments »

Octo Bear

November 16, 2013 by Enida

My year seems to have skipped a month.
And I am not going to put the blame on it being October. It is all on me for not finding time to therapize myself. But it really has been quite hectic around here, around Mesra. So my Questa è Enida was put down to hibernate.

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I wonder, though.

Was I missed?

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Posted in Write On | 5 Comments »

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