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Today, I just want to love you
because I want to love you.
And because I can.
Tomorrow will only matter tomorrow.
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Posted in Inside Enida | Leave a Comment »
It was nine in the evening and the house was very quiet after Kitreena was done talking on the phone with Paola. She was supposed to be in bed at eight just like Edrick but needed help from her best friend who was not available until about nine. Oh well… sometimes I just have to trust these little women.
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I waited for her upstairs and was eating late dinner quietly when she came up to the kitchen and asked me this question in the tone of voice that reminded me of my mother.
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Kitreena: Do you do this every night?
Mommy: Do what?
Kitreena’s question somehow made me nervous!
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Kitreena: Do you eat dinner late like this every night, when we are in bed?
Mommy: No, I don’t! I didn’t eat dinner at all last night.
And this question made me feel defensive and curious if she was going to preach me about healthy eating habit.
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Kitreena: Mom, when I see you eating on your own like that, it looks so… uh, so… lonely.
Mommy: *smiles* It is lonely. But it’s okay, Monch. I’m okay.
Kitreena: I always feel that way when I see somebody eating all by themselves. I feel like sitting with them and just be there so they won’t be so lonely.
Mommy: Come sit by me, then…
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We sat at the kitchen table for a while, saying nothing much, before I chased her to bed.
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It was the most un-lonely moment in my life.
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Posted in Monchies | Tagged Single-Parenting | Leave a Comment »
Knowing that you are there for me, is like knowing…
that there is a picnic area in every mile of my long journey.
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Posted in Sense | Leave a Comment »
The drive down to Singapore started with the Drive-Thru McDonald’s lunch just before the Sg. Besi toll. I hadn’t even had breakfast at that point, but I ordered Fillet-o-Fish set anyway and was determined to eat-n-drive.
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Edrick: Mom, are you going to eat that Fillet-o-Fish?
Mommy: Yeah, I suppose…
Kitreena: Oh Mom, Mom! Give Edrick a silly answer please! You haven’t given him silly answers for a loooong time!
Edrick: Hahahaha! Yeah Mom. Give me a silly answer.
Mommy: Hehehe okay okay. Ask me again, Edrick.
Edrick: Mom, are you going to eat that Fillet-o-Fish?
Mommy: No, Edrick. I’m going to throw it off the bridge when we are crossing the border because I can’t eat a Malaysian burger in Singapore.
Kitreena: Hahahaha!
Edrick: Hahahaha! Mommy that’s so silly.
Mommy: Well… you asked for it. Hahahaha!.
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I never got to eat-n-drive anyway. And the Malaysian Fillet-o-Fish ended up in the Singaporean garbage bin 24 hours after crossing the border anyway.
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Silly me!
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Posted in Humor, Monchies | Tagged Single-Parenting | 1 Comment »
It was a light and easy morning sending Monchies to school in the morning drizzle. As we hit Jalan Kuching near Bulatan Segambut, the Light & Easy channel started playing Whitney Houston’s “Where Do Broken Hearts Go”. And oh! I had a good time singing along to such ‘classic’ that I wasn’t really paying attention to its lyrics. I was just amazed I still knew it by heart!
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When the song ended…
Kitreena: Mom…
Mommy: Yes.
Kitreena: Is it true that if somebody loves you, they will always love you?
Mommy: Uh… I suppose.
Kitreena: But Daddy doesn’t love you anymore.
Mommy: Maybe he does, but he loves others more now. And it’s okay sayang.
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She looked away, and exhaled…
Light & Easy went on to play “That’s The Way Aha Aha”.
I definitely liked that, ahaks!
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Posted in Monchies | 2 Comments »
My year seems to have skipped a month.
And I am not going to put the blame on it being October. It is all on me for not finding time to therapize myself. But it really has been quite hectic around here, around Mesra. So my Questa è Enida was put down to hibernate.
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I wonder, though.
Was I missed?
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Posted in Write On | 5 Comments »
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The ultimate level of anger for me is not when I go silent.
It is when I no longer want to listen.
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Posted in Inside Enida | Leave a Comment »
Haa, ni Pak Tam ni.
Ya Pak Tam. Apa khabar?
Ni ada projek besaq ai nak bagi yu.
Oh, terima kasih banyak-banyak.
Ni… ada satu group nak buat baju.
Okay, boleh. Baju macam mana tu Pak Tam?
Baju elok la sikit. Tak mau la buat baju hat kualiti tak berapa elok.
Of course! Baju kami mana ada kualiti tak berapa elok Pak Tam.
Mana la tau kan. Depa nak baju berkolar hat elok la.
Pak Tam tak pernah tengok baju Airwings yang kat kelab tu kot?
Tengok dah. Tapi hangpa takdak bagi ai dua tiga lai pun.
Hah? Bagi?
Ya la. Cuba bagi kat ai dua tiga lai tengok. Hahaha.
Kami berniaga tak macam tu Pak Tam. Kami selalunya bagi free untuk anak-anak yatim saja.
Hah, tak kisah la. Ni projek besaq ni. 150 pack. Bajet depa RM50.00 satu pack. Tapi ai ambik RM3.00. So nanti ai bagi yu RM47.00 saja la.
Oh? Ooookaaaayyy… (?)
Depa nak topi sekali. Topi hat elok jugak la.
Iya lah Pak Tam. Takkan bagi baju elok, tiba-tiba topi buat hat buruk pulak!
So satni ai bagi yu the contact person punya email, yu discuss dengan dia la. Tapi tu la… ai bagitau yu awai-awai, ai nak RM3.00 per pack.
Design dah ada ke Pak Tam?
Depa nak design hat simple-simple saja.
Iya lah. Dah ada ke design simple nya tu?
Ai pun tak tau la. Nanti yu tanya depa sendiri. Okay na.
Hmmm okay.
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I called my partner and told him this, verbatim.
Airwings is NOT taking up the project.
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Posted in Malaysiana, Sense, Service | 2 Comments »
On the way to school Wednesday morning, as we were merging into the right lanes near PWTC, Edrick came up with a question…
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Edrick: Mom, are my eyebrows too bushy?
Kitreena: Edrick, this is the THIRD time you asked Mommy this question!
Edrick: I know, but I wanna know if my eyebrows are too bushy.
Mommy: What do you think, Edrick? Do you think your eyebrows are TOO bushy?
Edrick: Ummm yeah, I think so, Mom.
Mommy: What makes you think your eyebrows are too bushy?
Edrick: Because when I look in the mirror, when it’s dark, my eyebrows look like they are attached.
Kitreena: Hahahahahaha! They are attached to YOU, silly goose.
Edrick: No, I mean they look like they are attached to each other.
Kitreena: Hahahahahaha!
Mommy: Hahahahahaha!
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I thought of Awie Wings for a while. And then my mind switched to one Japanese samurai/ninja cartoon character on TV who has one eyebrow that stretches across the forehead. I looked at my son from the rear view mirror and fell in love with his bushy eyebrows all over again.
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Posted in Monchies | Tagged Single-Parenting | 2 Comments »
I was sitting at the round dining table, listening to Deja Vu by Shila Amzah when Edrick stopped by on his way upstairs. It was just before bedtime, 1930hrs.
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Edrick: Mom… *he looks at my face looking for words*
Mommy: What is it sweetheart?
Edrick: Mom, is it okay if you don’t listen to sad songs?
Mommy: Ohhh? Oh okay.
Edrick: I think it’s making me feel uncomfortable.
Mommy: Oh I’m sorry about that, sayang. All right, I’ll listen to something else.
Edrick: And Mom, I think sad songs make YOU feel uncomfortable too.
Mommy: Oh don’t worry about me, I’m okay. I’ll be okay.
Edrick: Okay, but I think you should keep sad songs away, Mom.
Mommy: Yes, sir! I sure will.
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He pulled me into his arms, hugged me longer than usual, said his goodnight, his I-love-you, his don’t-let-the-big-bug-bite routine and went to bed.
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I was left feeling so loved, and I knew… it wasn’t the sad song that made me cry.
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Posted in Inside Enida, Monchies | Tagged Healing, sad songs, Single-Parenting | Leave a Comment »
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