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Sad Movies Make You Cry?

Semua orang ada cerita sedih masing-masing.

Everybody has their own sad stories.

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And my sad story last week was… my under-the-staircase storage room doorknob broke. Bibik was going in to check on the t-shirt stock, she turned the knob, it came off and the knob on the inside fell off the door! Sad, wasn’t it? But the sadder part was… it was Friday evening, the Mesra Terrace’s technician had just been fired by the management, and Enida the Questa è Enida had NO tools to open any sesame, let alone to open doors.

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Today, almost three days later, I, Enida the Questa è Enida broke the door open with a piece of shoelace. Thanks to the McGuyver in me. As sad as it could be, no one was crying. Including the owner of the shoelace. And hey, who needs a technician to figure out how to open a broken-knob door?

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The other sad story was, last week… the propane tank regulator (for the kitchen stove) broke. I was just about to boil some eggs to make breakfast and prepare the lunch box for Monchies. Yes, the regulator broke. Sad, wasn’t it? But the sadder part was, I had no time to go to any hardware store to get it replaced. For the whole week, Bibik and I cooked using the Electrolux induction cooker I bought almost two years ago. It is, ya know, one of those ‘just-in-case’ gadgets.

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Yesterday, almost a week after the regulator was about to make its way to the garburator, I went to Sia Thai Yew Hardware at Solaris Dutamas to get a replacement. Yes, I could have gone to ACE Hardware first. But I always like small kampung-style hardware shops as the service is almost always personalized. But the sad thing was, it was closed.

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Okay, I lied! I didn’t go to ACE Hardware Store first not because I like small kampung-style hardware shops and their personalized service. But because I knew… if I went to ACE Hardware first, I was going to be tempted to look at regulators and every little tool, gadget, electrical appliance, detergent, spray paint, pot, barbecue stuff and everything visible at all aisles and all corners of the whole store! It would be really sad if I found something that I wasn’t looking for.

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I did come home with a regulator.

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However, in my ACE Hardware shopping bag, there were two other things… a bottle of thinner and a Goo-Gone Painter’s Pal spray gel to remove the red paint on my favorite kebarung I have been wearing since 1996. Oh yeah, that is another sad story — the red paint on my white-green kebarung. But that is an entire different entry.

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And that was yesterday.

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Today, I, Enida the Questa è Enida, would like to tell my new sad stories… there is a leak in the kids’ bathroom that is coming down to the kitchen ceiling by the pantry wall, all air-conditioners need servicing, plus there is a short circuit that makes the ceiling fan in the living room now unusable.

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In tears, I am calling McJegan on 019 3054215.
(Unless you can give me McGuyver’s number.)

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Back to Beg

What have I not told the longing hearts? When the truth doesn’t wipe any tears, I tell them lies. And when lies don’t make them smile, here I am, back to begging you… do say hello. Even if it is just a hello. Worry not, they don’t stay little very long. Soon they will know that the truth is whatever helps them go to sleep at night. Que sera sera.

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Si! Que sera sera.

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Mirenida Rights

  • You have the right to remain silent.
  • Anything you say or do can and will be held against you in a court of life in which everybody is a judge.
  • You have the right to an attorney.
  • If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you at a cost of course, as the only thing free is the air you breathe and cheap t-shirts given by those ‘fishing’ politicians.
  • You have the right to write.
  • If you cannot write, others who are all judges will write the verdict for you and all over you.
  • You will be denied of any investigation and will be granted no chance of a trial.
  • You will also be provided with nothing; not  a chance to make mistakes, to cough it out, let alone to have hiccups.
  • And even in silence, what you don’t say or don’t do can and will be used against nobody nobody but you.

 

So help me dog god. For I am blind.

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Sesal Kemudian

It was an hour to midnight. Aida Maria sent me a text message on WhatsApp:

“I teringat nasi panas yang you makan dengan sambal/rendang and kacang panjang. Sodap nye. Menyesal den tak baham semalam. Huhuhu. Okay lah, rest well.”

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After all the guests left, it was just me, Aida Maria and my leftover Spaghetti Marinara. But all I could think of was my Mom and her nasi panas with anything that always looked so delicious. Like a hungry raven of Port Klang, I scrounged for the leftover Rendang Kerang that had become Serunding Kerang, found some Sambal Tumis Ikan Bilis and some string beans for ulam. Aida Maria didn’t join me because she had two plates of mia pasta del frutti di mare. Basta pasta. Si!

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To Aida Maria, I replied with:

“Hahahaha padan muka!”

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She didn’t text me back. I think she pretended to be asleep.

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A little Italian:

mia = my

frutti di mare = seafood

basta = enough

si = yes

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Sembunyi-Sembunyi

Wahai saudaraku yang kukasihi, jikalau datang kepadamu dua orang anak…
Satu nya datang hampir sekali ke sisimu seraya menepuk-nepuk perutnya kerana kekenyangan, sedang yang satu nya menjauhimu seraya menepuk-nepuk perutnya namun malu akan kelaparannya — anak yang mana kah akan kamu terpanggil untuk memberi nya makan? Apakah yang sedang kekenyangan hanya kerana dia itu datang kepadamu?

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Anak yang mana kah pada perkiraanmu akan lebih menghargai makanan yang kamu sedekah kan?

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Maka yang demikian jua lah peganganku terhadap ‘Duit Raya’ yang kita anggap sedekah. Aku lebih sanggup mencari anak-anak yang serba tak punya, dan bersembunyi kerana malu akan kemiskinannya… daripada memberi wang kepada anak-anak yang serba ada tetapi meminta-minta. Biar lah dicemik, biar lah diejek, bahawa aku di matamu, tidak pandai membahagiakan hati kanak-kanak di hari kebesaran. Pemberian yang telah aku hulurkan dalam diam, tinggal lah dalam diam. Sembunyikan lah tangan kiri ku ini.

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Tuhan Maha Melihat.

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Panas Dingin Cintaku

Abang, jangan lah minum ais banyak sangat waktu berbuka ni.

Kenapa sayang?

Nanti lemah badan.

Sayang rasa betul ke lemah badan?

Betul. Sebab memang it’s not natural for the body temperature minum sejuk-sejuk, and banyak-banyak on an empty stomach after so many hours. Terkejut tau body system.

Abang rasa tu cuma sebuah conspiracy theory.

Hah? Apa pulak?

Abang tau. Sebenarnya sayang tak bagi Abang minum ais banyak-banyak bulan puasa ni sebab utamanya bukan kerana it’s not natural to body temperature. Tapi sebab… bila Abang minum sejuk banyak-banyak, Abang beku. Bila sejuk-beku macam ais, sayang datang duduk dekat Abang je, Abang dah cair. Belum apa-apa.

*tercengang-cengang* Hah?

Hahahahahaha… sayang, okay tak hujah Abang?

*jeling maut*

Awwwwww jangan lah jeling macam tu. Abang dah nak menitik dah ni.

Nyampah!

Hehehe… sayang buat Nescafe Gold ke Milo untuk Abang ni?

Air suam!

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Pelat dan Terencat

Kalau lah komentar-komentar di Facebook itu saya baca betul-betul mengikut ejaan yang digunakan penulisnya, ramai benar rakan-rakan dan kenalan Facebook saya yang sama ada pelat atau terencat.

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Contoh:

Law ko ad mse, jom r kt g param kt ipo bble nk?

Kalau kau ada masa, jom lah kita pergi Pasar Ramadhan dekat Ipoh bila-bila nak?

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Oh tomeiiii nya tucin u ni. Tomeiii tangat.

Oh comel nya kucing you ni. Comel sangat.

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Susah betul rasanya untuk saya hormati orang-orang yang ambil mudah soal bahasa. Dan tak dapat saya bayangkan bagaimana malangnya nasib generasi akan datang yang ber-ibubapa kan mereka yang terencat dan tak pandai mengeja ini.

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Facebook bukan lah lagi tempat ‘suka-suka’ kerana ia merupakan sebahagian besar dalam kehidupan kita sekarang. Setiap tabiat kita di Facebook akan menjadi kebiasaan dan menjadi identiti kita, mahu tidak mahu, sedar atau tidak.

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Kalau bahasa itu jiwa bangsa, bahasa yang bagaimana kah yang kita gunakan dalam pertuturan harian? Adakah kita bercakap pelat kerana kita rasa comel bercakap seperti kanak-kanak berumur 2 tahun begitu? Kalau bahasa itu jiwa bangsa, yang kita tulis di status Facebook itu bukan bahasa?

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Di universiti di Russia, terdapat Jabatan Bahasa Melayu yang mengkaji dan mengajar Bahasa Melayu kepada penutur bahasa lain. Dan penuntutnya fasih menutur dan menulis dalam Bahasa Melayu. Itu di Russia. Tak usah lah saya sebut apa yang ada di England, America dan Australia. Apa alasan kita bila ejaan kita sesingkat akal kita?

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Kalau anda sedang memikirkan alasan nya sekarang, bahawa Facebook itu hanyalah suka-suka dan main-main, dan bahawa bahasa singkat, pelat dan terencat yang kita guna kan itu sekadar mengisi waktu bosan… benar lah jangkaan saya. Orang kita memang hebat beralasan.

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Wordittude

It’s very simple how words can change our attitude. Bila saya tengok banyak benar orang merungut malas nak pergi kerja, saya mengaku saya pun kadang-kadang rasa cenggitu. Tapi Mak saya pesan, kerja tu jalan rezeki yang Tuhan dah bagi untuk kita. Jadi, kalau kita kata kita malas nak kerja, sama lah jugak ibaratnya kalau kita kata, “Malas nya nak cari rezeki.”  Ishhh tak sanggup pulak berkata begitu. Sesungguhnya kata-kata itu adalah doa.

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My mind was filled with the thought of some ‘merajuk-dengan-dunia‘ mission of some sort, and I am just out of sorts these days. And then, this short conversation between me and Mr. Johnson Jr. happened:

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Mommy: No more iPad after berbuka. We’re watching the Olympic badminton tonight.

Edrick: But why, Mommy?

Mommy: Because it’s the final game and it’s between Malaysia and China.

Edrick: Are we going to watch it on TV?

Mommy: No, we’re going to watch it on the aquarium. *her usual silly answer to silly question*

Edrick: You mean we are going to the stadium?

Kitreena: *looks at Mommy, ready to burst in a big laughter* Edrick, Mommy said aquarium, not stadium. And it’s a joke!

Mommy: Yeah, we’re going to be riding on the magic curtain to London.

Edrick: Ha ha ha ha Mommmm! It’s carpet, not curtain.

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The silly TV decided to break down during the second set of the game and then decided to come back on right after the game was over. But yeah, really… who cares? Tonight, silence is more golden than the medal.

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Argue

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When someone calls you and complains, listen. Don’t argue. Don’t make them wrong. As long as you can remain neutral, you will resolve the issue and win a friend. This same principle works in every aspect of your life. It may be a challenge to do, because you have to keep your ego in check. You’ll want to be right. Regardless of whether you are, be quiet. You’ll win the argument if you don’t argue. Besides, arguing just escalates the argument. Neither of you will win, and you’ll lose a customer or friend or mate for life.

~Joe Vitale

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