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Berpaling Dari Dikau

July 16, 2011 by Enida

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Ku Relakan
Jay Jay

Jelas terpadam sudah
Nyala bara asmara
Hatimu membeku
Dingin sinar matamu

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Tak tergamak diriku
Membiar kau tersiksa
Dipenjara oleh cintaku
Yang tak lagi bermakna padamu

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Ku mengundur diri
Ku berpaling dari dikau
Yang segalanya buatku

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Kasih
Ku relakan perpisahan
Seandainya kau bahagia

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Kasih
Kurelakan penyiksaan kedukaan
Menimpaku hingga akhir masa

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Hanya ku pinta
Sesekali ku hadiri rindumu

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Berlinang airmata
Tika melepaskanmu
Izinku pergi membawa diri
Ke halaman gelap mentari

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Ku mengundur diri
Ku berpaling dari dikau
Yang segalanya buatku

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Kasih…

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Posted in Songs | Leave a Comment »

Yang Kau Panggil

July 13, 2011 by Enida

Abang…

Tak nak jawap.

Abang merajuk dengan Ida ye?

Tak nak jawap.

Janganlah cenggitu. Kan Ida dah ada ni. Bang…

Tak nak lah. Ida asek busy manjang.

Oh lah sayang sayang buah hati. Jangan lah merajuk bang. Come here Ida bagi head massage nak?

*terdiam tapi macam menahan senyum*

Hah, diam tu nak lah tu kan?

Massage belakang Abang dulu.

Oooookayyy, boleh… come.

Lepas tu head massage.

Caaannn. Ida siap bagi facial massage jap lagi, come.

Lepas facial, kaki pulak tau.

Oh kaki pun nak? Okaylah. Anytime, Abang punya pasal, don’t worry be happy. Boleh. Come here.

Lepas kaki, tangan pun kena massage.

Amboilah demandingnya! Takpe, Ida layan dengan serangkap pantun memujuk ni…
Nasik lah lemak buah bidara,
sayangkan pucuk Ida lurutkan;
Ida dah call mak, Ida tak kisah saudara,
Punyalah nak pujuk Ida urutkan.

Abang nak kena jawap ke pantun sayang ni?

Ehhh! Abang panggil Ida sayang lah!

Ohhh? Sayang perasan Abang tak panggil sayang sayang eh?

Mestilah! Abang ingat Ida ni OSIM ke? Mesin urut takde perasaan?

Abang ingat sayang tak perasan. Hehe.

Eh dah hehe lah! Dah abis merajuk ke ni?

Not until after the massage, no. *dan dan garang balik*

After pun after lah bang. Asalkan Abang abis merajuk and panggil Ida sayang macam biasa. Tapi betul lah Abang merajuk eh?

Tak nak jawap!

Hahahaha! I love you too. Abang merajuk cenggini sexy lah bang.

Dah, jangan mengader. Urut cepat!

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Posted in Abang | 2 Comments »

Siri Bercakap Dengan Edrick XXVII

July 11, 2011 by Enida

I was reading him a bedtime story, holding the book with one hand and holding his hand with the other, when he felt my ring.

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Edrick: Mommy, why are you still wearing your wedding band?

Mommy: *feels ‘caught’ in a way and can’t answer*

Edrick: If you are not with any man now, you are not supposed to wear a wedding band.

Mommy: Okay. But I am not wearing it on my ring finger.

Edrick: Yeah. But you’re not with any man anymore.

Mommy: Okay, I’ll take it off. It’s only my engagement ring anyway.

Edrick: But Mom! You are not with any man now.

Mommy: All right, all right! I will take it off!

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An explanation on why I was wearing my engagement ring on my middle finger would have taken too long. It was bed time anyway. Bad time.

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Posted in Monchies | Tagged | 1 Comment »

Between Us

July 11, 2011 by Enida

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Whenever we speak to each other,
words are like the breeze
between two tall casuarinas
on a shore.

A bare shore.

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Posted in Poetry, Sense, Write On | Leave a Comment »

Kosong Seperti

July 11, 2011 by Enida

Selalu sangat saya mulakan ayat saya dengan, “Bila awak tak ada…” Jadi kali ini saya tak nak mulakan dengan ayat cliché saya tu. Nanti awak kata saya terlalu senang dibaca, macam buku Tadika Kemas Paya Redan. Begitu mudah dan predictable nya.

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Walaupun saya tak mulakan ayat saya dengan, “Bila awak tak ada…”, yang saya bayangkan ialah ketiadaan awak. Sebab awak memang selalu tak ada. Dan walaupun dah jumpa awak sekejap, bila awak berangkat pergi lagi, jiwa saya mesti akan jadi predictably lonely. Empty macam katil saya.

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Terima kasih for listening to my chuckles dengan hati. Ketawa saya yang berjurai airmata tu hanya awak yang tau. You looked at my smiles tak hanya dengan mata. Awak genggam tangan saya tanda faham penat saya yang tak ada tempat sandaran hati. Awak tau hati saya. Awak tau saya setia. Tapi mungkin hanya awak yang hargai. Dan mungkin apa yang saya nantikan ini tak ada erti. Saya tak tau apa yang saya mau.

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Waktu awak berangkat pergi tak menoleh memandang saya, dalam faham dan dalam terbiasa, airmata saya menitik juga. Kita berdua memang banyak bercerita dan bertanya. Kalau dulu, “Kenapa mesti mencari makna?” Tapi sekarang, apalah ertinya sekadar bertanya.

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Bila awak tak ada, hati saya jadi dingin kuat merajuk berfikir diam.

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Hati saya jadi diam.

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Yeah, what’s the point?

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Posted in Inside Enida | Leave a Comment »

Eleh!

June 29, 2011 by Enida

Eleh!
You tu memang gitu.

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Kejap nak,
kejap tak nak.
Takut I sentuh,
takut I tak sentuh.
Bila I chakap hello,
you mengeluh.
Bila I chakap bye-bye,
you berserabai.

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Sudahlah.
I dah malas.
Tak de masa.
Banyak kerja lain.
Banyak mata lain
yang gian nak
ber-tango
dengan mata I.
Banyak lidah lain
yang hauskan
bibir I.

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Bibir I yang tebal tak tebal,
nipis tak nipis.
Senyum atau chemik,
sentiasa manis.
Bibir yang basah
berginchu merah,
cherah secherah-cherahnya.

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Bayangkan,
seperti yang you pernah bayangkan.
Bibir I, di bibir you.
Bibir I, di telinga you.
Di leher you.
Di dada you.
Di perut you.
Di pusat you.
Di peha you.
Di sana you
dan di situ you.

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Bayangkanlah.
Jangan malu-malu.
Bukan I tak tahu.
Memang you pernah bayangkan dulu.

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Eleh!
You tu memang gitu.
Dah tahu
buat tak tahu.

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by Yasmin Ahmad

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“The only Melayu poem I’ve ever written.” ~Yasmin Ahmad

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I never had the chance to thank you for writing this poem. But you knew that someday I would go through exactly what you did, didn’t you? I can almost imagine your smile. I miss you, Kak Min.

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Posted in Poetry | Leave a Comment »

Yang Mana

June 28, 2011 by Enida

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Banyak galas perkara galas,
galas yang sana dalam sepasu;
Banyak malas perkara malas,
malas yang mana diam membisu?

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Posted in Poetry | Leave a Comment »

Siri Bercakap Dedek-Kaka V

June 28, 2011 by Enida

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Kitreena: Mommy, I’d like to donate this baju to the orphans now. I’ve grown out of it.

Mommy: Sure sure. Good thought, Monch.

Edrick: Mommy, what’s an orphan?

Kitreena: An orphan is someone who doesn’t have…

Mommy: An ophan is a kid that has no…

*Mommy and Kitreena pause to let each other speak first but Edrick butts in*

Edrick: An orphan is a kid that has no baju?

Mommy and Kitreena: Hahahahahahahaha!

Mommy: No, hahaha. An orphan is a kid who has no Mom and Dad.

Edrick: But why does Kitreena want to donate her baju to an orphan?

Kitreena: Because I can’t donate my Mom and Dad, silly!

Edrick: Haaaa haaaaa haaaaa!

Mommy: *sedikit kecil hati *

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Posted in Monchies | Tagged | Leave a Comment »

Jauh Sudah

June 27, 2011 by Enida

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Yang basah pipi
yang kering hati.

Yang berair mata
yang berakhir kita.

Baru sekarang
terasa hilang?

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*Enida
June 26, 2011
Pulau Marina

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Posted in Poetry | Leave a Comment »

And This

June 22, 2011 by Enida

For the first twenty minutes my mind just went wordless. All I could feel was just hurt. There was this stabbing pain that I couldn’t tell where it was or where it came from. I just let myself feel it, for some reason. Feel it and not think. If words could be so hurtful, I was just going to let my tears and myself subside in silence.

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And then for the next twenty minutes I just sat there until I realized it was Wednesday. So I got up, lit some candles for Mom and went to bed.

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I have been happy.
And this too shall pass.

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Posted in Sense | 3 Comments »

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