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Katakan Saja

Enida bangun berpantun jam lima pagi…

Kalau pedu katakan pedu,
tidak paya tongkah perigi;
Kalau rindu katakan rindu,
tidak saya melangkah pergi.

What Lies Beneath

I can handle lies. What I cannot handle is liars trying to convince that their lies are the best truth around.

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C’mon lah.

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Hilang

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Enida berpantun mohon diri:

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Cabut jangan tanam pun jangan,
celah perdu silang berduri;
Sebut jangan kenang pun jangan,
biarlah rindu hilang sendiri.

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The Kindhearted Kind

Kitreena struggles sometimes among kids her age because she is a ‘rules’ person. A bit too idealistic for her age, but that’s what she just is. I’s must be dotted, T’s must be crossed. Sometimes I think her mission in life is for World Peace, and I can see her bearing the torch with the brightest flame… front row in the parade!

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So when she grapples to understand why people do nasty things and say nasty words to others, I know I have to help her look inward. From way within, to way within. She is trying to get to know her self. Her inner being. Her soul. And all I need to show her is how to grow those spiritual arms to embrace that little Kitreena.

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Just like tonight, when she came crying with a little story about how Natasha ‘made’ her feel, I just cradled her like a baby.

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Mom: Monch, you know what the problem is?

Kitreena: What?

Mom: You have a kind heart.

Kitreena: *pouts*

Mom: And you know what the problem is with kind hearts?

Kitreena: What?

Mom: They break very easily.

Kitreena: *nods tearfully* It hurts, Mom.

Mom: Oh yes it does. But you know what God promises people with kind hearts who keep on being kind?

Kitreena: What?

Mom: A heaven full of smiles like yours.

Kitreena: *smiles, almost chuckles and hugs Mommy tightly* But what about nasty people?

Mom: What about them? They don’t  know anything about God’s promises. Because if they knew, they would rather be hurt than hurt others. Right?

Kitreena: But do they go to uh… eich-ee-ell-ell Mom? *can’t even bring herself to say the ‘H’ word*

Mom: Who cares where they go. They don’t know God and I don’t think God knows them either when they get to the heaven’s gate.

Kitreena: So… I can have lots and lots of wishes in heaven?

Mom: You can have lots and lots of anything if you are kind to others in this life.

Kitreena: Heehehheehee.

Mom: But we’re still in my house. I’m the boss. So be kind to me. Go to bed.

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Biarlah Jauh

Enida berpantun jauh hati…

Paya dermaga bergenang-genang,
karam disangka retak perahu;
Sayalah juga terkenang-kenang,
orang tak suka saya tak tahu.

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To Sit Me Down

At this moment, I am sitting still when I should be running in 2912 directions. Or okay… maybe just seven directions. But the point is, I really shouldn’t be sitting still. Life is waiting for me and I should be taking those two remaining steps towards it.

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But then, I would really like to just sit down with myself right now because there is this question I have been avoiding…

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“If I find what I cannot have, should I want it?”

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Beban

Rasanya beban paling berat yang akan saya pikul bila sendiri kelak ialah botol air itu. Ya, botol air seberat 18.9kg bersamaan 5 gelen (mak ai, gelen!) itu. Setiap kali kehabisan air di mesin dispensari air rumah saya, jika kebetulan saya yang menghabiskannya… saya pasti berdebar-debar.

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Biasanya dari tempat simpanan air botol di pantry, saya akan mengguling-gulingkan sahaja botol tersebut sampai tercalar-balar botol tersebut peduli apa saya, depositnya saya yang bayar. Ini adalah kerana… untuk mengangkat sebotol air penuh yang berat itu, walaupun saya mampu, saya takut. Saya bukanlah seorang yang bagus koordinasinya.

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Seringkali saya terbayang botol yang penuh itu akan menghempap kaki saya yang bertaik lalat ini dengan begitu dramatiknya dan mentekeluarkan taik saya pula. Begitu sakitnya dihempap! Membayangkannya pun saya sudah berpeluh-peluh gementar. Inikan pula kalau saya terjatuh ditimpa botol air berisipadu sebanyak 5 gelen itu. Harus hanyut saya ke alam barzah.

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Kerana begitu gemuruhnya saya bila harus menukar botol air di mesin dispensari itu, kerapkali saya mengelat. Saya pura-pura tidak tahu dan saya diamkan sahaja sampai ada orang lain yang perasan bahawa ia telah kosong. Orang lain itu termasuklah (bekas) suami saya, Bibik saya, Emy saya dan adik saya Diki Ganguly kalau beliau bernasib malang kebetulan berada di rumah saya. (Maafi chahta hu, mera bhai.)

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Namun, setiap kali mereka terpaksa mengangkat botol air seberat hampir 20kg itu akibat kemalasan kegentaran saya, saya merasa sangat bersalah. Dan cepat-cepat saya akan membancuh secawan Nescafe Gold demi menghilangkan beban perasaan saya itu dengan meneguk kaffein. Semoga Tuhan mengampunkan taktik kotor saya ini.

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Ohhh Tuhanku
kepada Mu
ku pohon ampun
doa restu
lindongilah daku
yang tidak berdaya
di bumi Mu ini
Huuuuu
wu huuuuu
wu huuuuu
wu huuuuu!

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Dan selepas ini sementara menunggu Bibik tiba di rumah Mesra, nampaknya saya terpaksa lah menanggung beban dosa air botol seberat 18.9kg itu mahu atau tidak. Mungkin ada baiknya saya insuranskan tubuh saya ini dengan AXA atau Prudential. Manalah tahu jika saya terhempap oleh beban air. Terpaksa pula saya berenang-renang ke tepian.

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Akan tetapi jika ada yang sudi menjadi on-call saya datang menunjukkan macho membantu meringankan beban saya sebanyak 18.9kg seminggu sekali-dua, saya sangat-sangat menghargai. Boleh anda bantu saya? (Kya aap meri madad kar saktey hai?) Rebutlah peluang keemasan ini. Ganjarannya ialah secawan Nescafe Gold bersama Enida dengan Mesra nya.

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Siri Tak Bercakap One

It was extra chewy trying to get me Monchies to bed tonight. Yes, chewy! I truly felt like biting on their tooshies and kept on chewing on them just for the fun of it! We went from the usual bedtime, 2030 to 2130hrs. And then from 2130 to 2245hrs of me trying to let them have fun a little; one dancing her ballet and the other singing his blues.

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But kids do what kids do well. They keep on pushing your limit to see what they can get most out of pushing. So, when the clock struck 2245hrs, I burst and turned into a teapot! One hand on the waist and the other swinging a  swatter! I was hoping I could just swat them to bed. But getting them to the sink to brush their teeth was as hard if not harder than  getting a bull to the slaughterhouse! Two bulls.

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After all the bellowing and yellowing, towel-picking, face-n-feet-wiping, I was finally successful in getting my little man to stand on the stool for his teeth-brushing. He was still busy with “Ow-ow-ow-hang-on-Mommy-I-have-tell-you-sumfing” sentences when I lost my patience and gave him the ‘jegil’ I inherrited from my Mom. (jegil = to bulge out one’s eyes as to intimidate, scare, or swallow kids, scaredy husbands cats, ghosts or the whole solar system).

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Edrick: Mommy, Mommy… ow ow ow! Hang on Mommy. I have to tell you sumfing, I have to tell you sumfing!

Mommy: *sighs, takes a deep breath, rolls her eyes and gives the ‘Whaaaaaat?’ motion*

Edrick: I just… I just… ummm… I just have to tell you this sumfing, Mommy.

Mommy: *scratches her neck, takes another deep breath, rolls her eyes and surprisingly just waits*

Edrick: I just wanna tell you you’re… beautiful, Mom.

Mommy: *changes from a teapot to tea*

Edrick: You are always beautiful in the morrrrning. When you put your perfume on, you smell beautiful. And you shine. That’s all I have to tell you.

Mommy: *cries*

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I could not believe what I heard, so instead of chewing me Monchies tooshies, I ended up chewing my heart. So now I have to go brush my teeth.

Good night angels.

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Upon request and blackmail from some friends and readers who almost killed their cats because of their curiosity, I am going to decode this Tokyo Tokyu Drift conversation I had the other day with my sisters.
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KaCher:
Moshi-moshi! Genki des ka?
[Hello! How are you doing?]

Enida:
Watashi wa genki des. Anatawa? Tsudaku brekufast todaiwa des ka? Watashino brekufast ishi kamingo anohito in shi hours. Ngeeeeee!
[I am doing good. You? Sudah breakfast today kah? My breakfast is coming in four hours. Ngeeeeee!]

KaCher:
Ii des ne. Watashimo genki des. Keku ne mada tabe mas, puasa des yo.
[That’s good. I am doing good too. But then no eating, I am fasting.]

Enida:
So des ka? Suka ne! Anatano koibito yo puasa oso des ka? Sahuri ka iyyek ka tadi ne? Watashiwa imajin ni yo panat habishi ichi hari nga eto bubuka puasa des yo! Haru ko!
[Oh iyakah? Suka nya! Is your loved one fasting also? Sahur kah tidak tadi ni? I imagine penat habis satu hari hingga berbuka puasa. Haru ngko!]

Enida:
Sumi masen, iyyek ‘panat’. ‘Panatsu’ ne! Sumi masen, sumi masen.
[Sorry, bukan ‘panat’. ‘Panatsu’ lah! Sorry, sorry.]

Enida:
Chakuri Parasu no bubuka puasa todaiwa des ka? Chengi’ Madam Kwan-no Nasi Bojari oishi tabe mashta hari to ka?
[Chakri Palace punya tempat kah berbuka puasa today? Lepas itu Madam Kwan punya Nasi Bojari sedap kah makan hari tu?]

Petto:
Watashiwa peko peko des. 😦
[I am hungry.]

KaCher:
*Enida San, Madam Kwan’s damei des ne, iyyek, oishi sen desh ta. Chengi’ mamak wa iki des hehe. Anatawa doshte taihen panatsu des ka?
[Cik Enida, Madam Kwan’s teruk lah, tidak, kesedapan tiada. Lepas itu, mamak saya pergi hehe. You must be very penat, kan?]

*Petto San, peko-pekoooo des ne? Long time wa never hear oledi des. 🙂 Todaiwa got PT des, uwaaaaa!
[Cik Petto, hah lapar? Dah lama tak dengar awak cakap lapar. Today ada PT lah, uwaaaaa!]

Enida:
KaCher San, watashiwa tsuda waraninji to anata. Et to, Madam Kwan-no tabe… dame des yo! Amboishi ye! Watashiwa taihen panatsu da wei-tinjio wa iki Mareisha des. Keku taihen teiru-ja e homisiku, watashi ratsu mo nan-jisi yo. Tiketto boto tsuda ne. Keku kenotowa ribiru ono hiru Fesubuki. Nan ite yo sms. Kenoto wei-tinjio to seiyo “Tadaimaaaaa!”
[Cik Kak, saya sudah warning sama awak. Kalau begitu, Madam Kwan punya makanan… teruk lah oi! Amboi sherr! Saya sangat penat sudah waiting mau pergi Malaysia lah. Tapi sangat teruja dan homesick, saya rasa mau nangis oi. Ticket bought sudah ni. Tapi cannot reveal on here Facebook. Nanti ye sms. Cannot waiting to say “Aku sudah pulangggg!”]

KaCher:
Watashiwa wakari mashtaaaa. 🙂 Woohoo! Et to…haiyaku kamu bekku yo.
[I understooooooood. 🙂 Woohoo! Kalau begitu… cepatlah come back tau!]

Ainiru:
Ohayooooooo!!! Anoooo… watashino nihon go wa, barabuku des. Watashi wa ima in Kuantan des. Tabemashta brekufastu in Gambang aru en aru (R&R). Tottemo oisshiii nasiku remaku! Enida San.. amboishi? Muahahahaaa. Tottemo kawaiii ne!
[Selamat pagiiii! Guys…my Japanese is berabuk lah. I am in Kuantan ni. Dah makan breakfast in Gambang R and R (R&R). Absolutely sedap nasi lemak! Cik Enida… amboishi? Muahahahaaa. Absolutely comel tu!]

Enida:
Ihi ihi ihi ihi watashino susitaru! Tottemo suka ne!
[Ihi ihi ihi ihi saya punya sisters! Absolutely suka (hati) ni!]

*KaCher San, mada sabaru mo kamu bekku. Dipuresu tsuda ne. Keku pa-kinjio marasu mo bu watte yo. Watashiwa stressu des, pimpuru ono watashino muka ne! Taihen dame des!
[Cik Kak, tidak sabar mau come back. Depressed sudah ni. Tapi packing malas mau buat oi. Saya stress lah, pimple on saya punya muka ni! Sangat tidak bagus lah!]

*Ainiru San, nasiku remaku Gambang-te kudasai! Oishiiii! Homisiku tsuda ne ragi mo tsobutto des ka? Amboishi yo! Ihi ihi ihi ihi (hoishi mashta soporuteo Rin Hanikoma).
[Cik Adik, nasi lemak Gambang satu please! Sedappp! Homesick sudah ni, lagi mau sebut kah? Amboi sherr! Ihi ihi ihi ihi (ketawa begitu seperti Rin Hanikoma).]

KaCher:
Ainiru San, watashino nihon go mo karamu kobutto ne hehe. Et to Enida San no nihon go wa, tottemo muzukashi des ne. Damei damei sher!
[Cik Adik, my Japanese pun kelam kabut ni hehe. Kalau begitu, Cik Enida punya Japanese ha, absolutely difficult tak hingat. Teruk teruk sher!]

Enida:
Tottemo da esoki?
[Absolutely dah esok eh?]

KaCher:
Sumi masen Enida San…Nan ni?
[Sorry, Cik Enida… apakah?]

Enida:
KaCher San, tottemo daisuki, mada da esoki. Dorae mo emm!
[Cik Kak, absolutely love it, mana ada esok eh. Doremon!]

KaCher:
Muahaha! Anatawa taihen karakaru des ne!
[Muahaha! Awak sangat kelakar lah!]

Enida:
Ang ang ang…
[Ang ang ang…]

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Tottemo daisuki Doraemon!
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Back At Who?

A few sms’s and emails came in this morning asking about my last post Back At Me, the poem. True, I have not written many English poems like this.  I must admit, I had fun writing it yesterday! Boy was I really into it… despite the hot summer weather that soaked me in my sweat and Cider! 🙂 But no, it’s not true that this one is about me. Nope, not this time.

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For once I selflessly write about someone I have gotten to know quite well. And for reasons only known to me and this friend of mine, I see the similarities between myself and his wife. Although, in my case I refuse to just wait and see if my love would come back to me. I have done that. I am waiting no more. I have a life to live and I have so much to give.

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Hmmm… now that I have given you this clarification, could I please go write some more? 🙂

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Thank you for reading and thank you for asking. Peace!

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