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Musim Cinta

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Yang mengisi ruang rindu
cumalah aku dan status Facebook ku,
berkias-kias antara diam dan kata-kata.

Mohon kasih moga kau tertoleh.
Memandang manis wajah rinduku.

Mohon kasih moga kau tertunggu.
Menggenggam erat paut tanganku.

Mohon kasih moga kau terhidu.
Mengucup harum syurga kasihku.

Demi masa,
tak tercapai rasa.
Demi ruang,
tak terucap sayang.
Demi kasih,
tak tertangis sedih.

Meninggalkanmu.

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*Enida
Pokrovsky Boulevard
Beregovaya Ulitsa 3
Hari terakhir February 2010.

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I Go

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Pergi

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Does + Doesn’t = Isn’t

What usually feels good, but doesn’t feel right… is usually not right.

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Yes.
Just like those relationships that boost your esteem, your energy, your ‘steam’, and whatever that can be boosted or busted. If they feel good, but have to be kept secret… they have to be ended.

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Simple.

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I’ll see you next month, tomorrow… luv!

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Me Monchies’ rule for pyjamas or jammies is:
They wear them two nights in a row. Three nights max if they’re still clean and smell nothing like pickled herrings. And in the morning, before jumping into the shower, the jammies have to be folded and put under their pillow if they’re still clean and smell nothing like pickled herrings. If they are ready for washing, they are to jump straight into the laundry basket. The jammies, of course, not me Monchies.

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This morning Edrick left his jammies on top of his chest of drawers while he was running bugil back and forth in the hallway. Happily!

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Mommy: Edrickkk! What are these? *points at the jammies even though she knows what they are*

Edrick: They’re my jammies, Mom. *answers Mommy honestly even though he knows that Mommy knows what they are*

Mommy: Where do they belong? *asks this question on average 57 times a day at the measurement of 15, 000 decibels in the morning*

Edrick: Under my pillow.

Mommy: So? *bulges her eyes the biggest possible*

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Edrick combined his folding with some rolling and crumpling techniques on his jammies and handed them out to me.

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Mommy: Well! Put them under your pillow. I’m not a pillow!

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Edrick looked at me smiling and started to chuckle as he got the joke and went on laughing even more when he heard Kitreena guffawing in the background as she too found it funny. Somewhat!

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Edrick: Ha ha ha that’s so funny, Mommy! Ha ha ha you’re not a pillow! Ha ha ha.

Mommy: *lightens up and smiles and smirks and shakes her head the way the  Indian moms always do*

Edrick: You’re not a cushion either, Mom.

Mommy: *bulges her eyes beyond control and the next thing she knows, she is rolling on the floor in her jammies and almost falls into the laundry basket*

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What a way to start a Saturday… two bugil Monchies in their room watching their Mommy laughing her jammies off, turning herself into a floor cushion!

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Glossary for Neil:

bugil or bogel = naked

Boy! It must be getting warmer here in Moscow, Neil! Me Monchies can now run bugil everywhere! (In the house, of course.)

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So Wrong

It’s not Friday.
It is, in fact, the day after. But how the heaven did I miss it? Now I really feel like making it feel like Friday. Let’s just say I started the day with donning a kebarung. Yes, my sweet green kebarung of which the fabric was my wedding hantaran (gift). Some things do last longer than marriages, si? In fact… uh, never mind. 🙂

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As I was making breakfast for me Monchies this morning, I got thinking about my Fridays in Malaysia. Fridays back in the days when I was younger. Much younger. And I got thinking about what used to be the highlight of my Fridays back then. Especially when I was staying with my family in Taiping.

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Friday was the day for me, KaCher and me girlfriends to gawk at men.  We were fifteen okay! What fifteen-year-old girls that don’t gawk at men? Umph! Well, any given day was a gawking-at-men day for most of us fifteen-year-old girls, really. But Friday was the official Gawking-at-Malay-Men-Going-For-Friday-Prayers-in-Kain-Pelikat Day! (Pelikat is the Malay sarong for men, Neil.)

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I couldn’t describe the feeling it gave us looking at those ‘cool’ sarongs on good-looking hunks. I still can’t describe it now. I blame it on the gawking-at-men-in-sarong deprivation I am suffering in Russia. But men’s sarong is probably the coolest one-piece attire ever invented in our Asian culture. There are sarongs for Indian men, the mundu and the lungi and many more. There are sarongs for Malay men, the pelikat, the batik – well, even the towels are seen to be a trend in some places. And for Chinese men, there’s the shang or the chang. Hmmm that explains why the Russians do not have these cool garments. They have no need for something cool. They’re cold.

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So yeah, I do miss the sight. The sight of men in their pelikat and Baju Melayu top, songkok on their heads on Fridays, looking so cool on a hot sunny midday stepping over the army truck tailboard while showing some skin and hair. Did I say showing some skin and hair? Oh I take that back. Pretend I didn’t tell you what I saw, okay? Pretend you didn’t know what sight I miss, okay?

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The picture above has nothing to do with sarong, pelikat, Fridays or my obsession with any of the above. I just got carried away with my gawking activity. And as I know that I can get myself in trouble with this entry, I have to confess that I can’t wait for summer! The probability of having a man wearing pelikat in my house is promising. I am gone ironing now to cool off.

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Voice Over

Yay for me! I am singing again. Yay! But I am not going to talk, nor am I going to write about it very often. I am just going to add the mp3 links in the navigation bar on the right, marked In Her Voice.

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The latest addition is Enida-Hati Yang Luka, an Indonesian song I truly enjoyed singing in the 80’s.

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Siri Bercakap Dengan Edrick VI

To see how my voice would sound on a proper stereo, I copied my Angel on to Kitreena’s pink mp3 player and plugged it in to the stereo. Upon hearing Mommy’s konon acoustic voice, Edrick went all ears and very quiet for a good 20 seconds and…

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Edrick: Is that your Mommy singing to you, Mom?

Mommy: *goes blank and blink* Huh? *goes blank again and blink again and* Huaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! 😦

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Granny Award

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I am holding this person responsible for putting a huge burden of knowledge on my shoulders. She is the cool-prit who taught me how to make Roti Canai/Paratha – the dough and and the kibar-mengibar skills, all inclusive. Yes! I mean, no! I will not forget her curries either. From the karipuley, parippu curry (Dhal-Cha)  right to the very composition of the song collaboratively called Walpajriwanenassedapsangaaat.

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This woman is also the holder of the award ‘Pembuat Cekodok Terpaling Bulat Dalam Dunia’ peringkat Sungai Siput (U), Perak. Hah, dah ter… ada paling pulak lagi tu! Di samping itu, beliau juga adalah pemegang anugerah ‘Pembuat Putu Piring Paling Kemas’ peringkat dunia, kategori Pasar Malam dan Siangku. Imagine if she can round the Cekodok Pisang as round as pingpong balls, Putu Piring is sooo kacang Ngan Yin.

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But this 80-something Achamma of mine is entirely accountable for giving me her goodlook without feeling any remorse! I have no more to say to her but… thank you Pah, for the grace.

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Kenyataan Maaf Secara Terbuka

Walaupun saya tak bersalah, saya dengan rela hati akan memohon maaf secara terbuka kepada mereka yang telah, sedang dan akan mengaku kawan dengan saya di Facebook. Seperti kata mereka, “Friends say sorry, strangers don’t worry.”

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Sudah-sudahlah dengan pengakuan saudara-saudari tersebut bahawa di antara kita ada sesuatu yang bernama persahabatan.

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Oh Tuhanku, ampunkanlah akan kepuitisan ayatku itu tadi! Ayat yang hampir sama sebenarnya telah digunapakai semasa saya di Tingkatan 3K Sekolah Menengah Kamunting, Taiping. Ianya telah ditulis di atas sekeping pinggan kertas sebagai tanda kenangan  hari terakhir bersama-sama rakan sekelas saya. Setiap pinggan tertulis mutiara kata yang berbeza dan kami semua menandatangani pinggan-pinggan tersebut dengan penuh perasaan mengalahkan autograf pelakon tambahan yang sangat perasan.

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Dan beliau yang bertuah mendapat pinggan kertas dengan mutiara kata tersebut, tak lain dan tak bukan, tiada dua, tiada tiga… sahabat saya yang akrab lagi suka makan Chili Crab, Saudara Mohd Zahidi Ishak. Ya, beliau adalah kawan saya di Facebook, Facelift, Face-Off dan Angel Face the Face Compact Powder. Pendek kata beliau telah bersama-sama saya dan KaCher dalam hampir setiap fasa kehidupan kami.

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“Antara kita ada sesuatu yang bernama kenangan.”

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Nah, itu maksudnya kita berkawan. Kita ada kenangan. Tak kiralah kenangan zaman Pop Yeh Yeh ke, zaman Tadika KEMAS Kg. Pinang ke, zaman Body Shop’s perfume ranging from White Musk dan Dewberry ke, atau zaman bertenet 5 Ringgit sejam di Cyber Cafe Kajang bertempat di tingkat atas sederet dengan McDonald’s setentang Kedai Buku Czip Lee ke. ‘Bila’ itu tak menjadi soal. Pokoknya ada yang dapat kita senyum-sengihkan bila terkenang.

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Seperti senyum saya yang tersimpul mati, dan setelah mati ia hidup kembali apabila bertemu dengan seorang sahabat lama yang mencari saya di Facebook. Sambil menulis perenggan ini, saya masih lagi tersenyum mengenangkan kisah ‘Kasih Tak Sampai’ di zaman sebelum saya kuat berlari dulu. (Dulu, kaki tak larat, badan pun berat. Ralat!)

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Antara yang saya ingat ialah, saya lari jauh daripada beliau kerana beliau sangat delicious. Setiap yang saya impikan… ada dalam senyumnya, ada dalam biceps dan tricepsnya, ada dalam professionnya. Yang tak ada cuma saya. Saya berlari jauh mencari diri saya sendiri yang rupanya telah pergi ke Ostrolia meninggalkan saya. Tinggi di awan biru, sedikit tidak menunggu daku! Nasib baik tiket murah waktu itu. Cuma RM900 pergi balik KUL-PER beli di Trimaflights, agen pelancongan yang beribupejabat dekat dengan Yaohan The Mall.

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Kepada Lieutenant Commander Deli anak Cious:

Kalau tuan mudik ke hulu,
carikan saya bunga kemboja;
kot ye pun nak pergi dulu,
tinggalkanlah tiket di atas meja.

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Setelah berkawan dan berkenang-kenangan dengan jejaka-jejaka di Facebook yang saya sebutkan sebagai contoh ini, sudah tentulah saya juga punya kawan baru. Namun (chewah! Namun ok? For some reason the word namun ni membuatkan saya terfikir perkataan-perkataan lain yang berakhir dengan ‘mun’ seperti timun, penyamun, semak-samun, Tutankhamun, dan Moon dan Dee dari rancangan Jangan Ketawa.)

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Namun… namun ku punya hati. Tidaklah sampai ke hati saya untuk menebas semak-samun Facebook Friends List saya yang dilalangi ‘kawan’ yang saya sendiri pun tak tau anak siapakah mereka ini. (“Anak siapa menangis di jalanan, sungguh kasihan aku melihatnya…” – memetik lagu Herman Tino secara tiba-tiba.) Apatah lagi Wajah Siapakah Yang Dikau Cari bak kata Azlina Aziz. Ramai juga rupanya ‘kawan’ saya ini yang tak pernah pun berkawan dengan saya. Walaupun kawan secara tipu-tipu.

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Maka dengan ini, saya dengan tangan, dada, zip, butang, cangkuk, pintu, tingkap, hati dan fikiran yang terbuka memohon maaf kepada kawan-kawan yang dengan secara tiba-tiba tak perasan pun saya tak ada dalam Facebook mereka kelak. Punyalah tak berkawan nya kita. Kerana saya cumalah seraut wajah yang terpampang di buku muka anda sebagai hiasan sahaja. Nasib baik lawa, dapat jugak menjadi hiasan.

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Oh tidak, hentikanlah keangkuhanku ini! Cukup sampai di sini, sayang. Eherrrrrm… sayang ke?

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Suara Enida

If you ever wondered how I sound like… this is me trying very very hard to sound Melayu Klasik bergurindam.

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Gurindam Jiwa Enida

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May You Find Some…

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It has been years since I last recorded my own voice.
But like usual, on a quiet night like tonight, I am drawn to this song.
This is my rendition of Angel… guitarlessly.

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Enida’s Angel

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