I mean, really! (I don’t start my sentence with “I mean” very often. In fact, I very seldom use the phrase ‘I mean’. You won’t like me when I start my sentence with ‘I mean’ though. Really! And if my ‘I mean’ is followed by the word ‘really’… oh boy! You won’t like me when I say ‘really’ after saying ‘I mean’ either. And I really mean it!)
Like how many Customer Service Assistants or Careline Assistants at Celcom do you have to speak to before they treat you like they care? (Oh, I don’t usually start my sentence with the word ‘like’ either! I think you know me by now and you can tell how incredible Celcom can be. And I don’t mean incredible here in a good way. So please lah Mr. McGee!)
My Celcom Mobile Broadband refused to get me connected to the networld yesterday. Now, don’t start it by asking if I had paid April or May’s bills or not because I did even when I wasn’t using it, and even when I was in Moscow. I was prepared. But I was really not prepared to be tossed around like I don’t know my numbers. Not on the phone, not at the end of a frustrating day, not ever!
It took me FOUR Celcom Careline Assistants to be understood that I could not get connected! The 1st Careline Assistant bounced me back to the main menu to press number 3 for assistance regarding the Mobile Broadband. But that was exactly what I had done! I had pressed number 3 to have spoken to the 1st Assistant in the first place. Strange! But ah well, I did as instructed nevertheless.
When I spoke to the 2nd Assistant, she wired up a new story saying that oh, Celcom had updated the IVR Menu and Broadband was no longer number 3, it was number 2. So I was instructed to press number 2 and was bounced back to the main menu. I trusted her. I did press number 2 this time even though I knew for sure number 2 option was for 3G, GPRS and MMS. And guess what? It was an option for 3G, GPRS and MMS. No broadband. Uh, hello?
So I spoke to the 3rd Assistant who assisted me by telling the same story the 1st Assistant told me. Press number 3. But this time she said she wasn’t going to send me back to the main menu, she was going to be very caring and very helpful and connect me directly to number 3. And voila! I spoke to the 4th Assistant, to whom I had to tell the whole story again. Yes, the whole story, nothing but the whole!
Glory to Celcom! What a wonderful service!
The 4th Assistant gave me what the 1st and the 3rd Assistants did. But I had gotten smarter and pissedoff-er by then and told him nope! I wasn’t going to let him show me a siaran ulangan. I would take no re-run from no assistants. He either helped me or admitted that he was as smart as donkeys all three of his colleagues who had crossed my path before him.
So he tried to be helpful, this Mr. 4th Assistant. When all his suggestions proved to be unsuccessful, he was even willing to wait for me to turn the netbook off, unplug my Huawei, plug it back, turn the netbook back on… yeah, the whole nine yards and a quarter! I said, forget it. As it was, all his ‘help’ was rather incredible to me.
He actually asked me to go to ‘Choose Connection Type’ and instead of ‘GPRS Preferred’, opt for ‘3G Only’. After that, change the ‘Choose Network’ to ‘Manual’ instead of ‘Auto’. And then, he asked me to try everything else. When that didn’t work, he asked me to change everything back to the original setting. Huh? Hello bellow? Adeke?
Of course nothing happened!
I was smiling all throughout the phone conversation last night and with all FOUR Celcom Careline Assistants. Careline? Careline? Care? Please lah Mr. McGee. Or Ghee Blend or whoever you care to claim you are. Care? I mean, really?
I’m pretty sure Dan Brown did not have any jin or djinn in mind when he wrote Angels and Demons. A translator does not have to read the book, nor watch the movie to be able to tell that much. Am I stating the obvious that the translator did not do his homework? Or was there a member of Illuminati putting a burning satay skewer to his neck ready to stamp him with this word had he not used the word JIN?
Questa è Enida 