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Ganti

Posted in Poetry, tagged on June 8, 2010| Leave a Comment »

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I was sending some samples of my poems to a hopefully future editor/publisher when I found this:

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Ganti

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Sengaja aku susun
rindu ini untukmu
dari bulan ke minggu.

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Sengaja aku atur
untukmu rindu ini
dari bulan ke hari.

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Tak sedar
tahun sudah berganti.

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June 18, 2000.
Skycity, Auckland.

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It has been almost ten years. In fact, the poem is only ten days short of celebrating its tenth birthday today. I remember writing this the day before my wedding, alone in my room, thinking of all the could-have-been’s and the would-have-been’s, anticipating all the possibilities and the impossibilities. Though it is for no one in particular, I remember thinking of what I was about to let go.

I had no regrets then.

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I am letting go of all the possibilities and the impossibilities.

I have no regrets now.

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Peribadi Itu

Posted in Poetry, tagged on May 29, 2010| Leave a Comment »

Peribadi Itu

Menemuinya hari itu
ku tahu dia bukan musuh
kepada musuhnya
tetapi kekasih
kepada dunianya.

Memahaminya hari itu
ku kira dia adalah pencabar
yang mengajak aku menentangnya
dengan mata bersinar
dengan hati berdebar.

Aku tidak lagi merindu
pada si lembut palsu
dialah seberkas peribadi
yang terletak di tengah ruang
dan peribadi itu ku dekati
dengan hormat dan tenang.

Mengingatinya kini
serasa suaranya berulang
memesan ku meneliti
segenap ruang.

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Rahman Shaari

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Write Through Me

Posted in Hurt, tagged on May 22, 2010| 2 Comments »

The day before yesterday I told my best friend, Cik Nan, that I usually write better when I can feel what I am writing about. But came yesterday I realized that I have not been writing about what I had been wanting to write about… because I have not been feeling it.

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In the beginning, this writing and blogging business was about me. About the way I felt. Just the way I felt. However I felt it. But after a while, after feeling so much and writing only what should be written, I drifted away from writing what I wanted to write about. And today, not only that I have stopped writing about what I wanted to write about, and that is the way I feel… but I have also stopped feeling it.

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The way I see it, speaking as-a-matter-of-factly, I only have two choices.

  • One: Keep on ‘stopping’ feeling what I am feeling.
  • Two: Stop writing about what I am not feeling.

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But I know pretty soon if you won’t do it, I myself will be pestering Enida for a third option. And fourth. In case you asked me how I am feeling now, I would tell you nothing but the truth.

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And the truth is very sad.

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Speechlessly Seduced

Posted in Travel, Write On, tagged , on April 17, 2010| 5 Comments »

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What’s Missing

Posted in Sense, Write On, tagged on April 11, 2010| 2 Comments »

I’ve been missing. And I’ve been missing myself too, other than writing. The goings have kept on going, you’re right. My thoughts have kept up. And yeah, they are probably 14 hours ahead of what my body can take. But what has been on my mind is you. Do you read me?

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You, Me and Yesterday

Posted in Nostalgia, tagged on April 2, 2010| 3 Comments »

Among the sentences that have been playing in my mind of late, the one that has stabbed me right in the middle of my temporal lobes, cutting me clean between the heart, the mind and the soul is…

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“Wajahmu menikam memperlahankan waktu…”

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Memperlahankan waktu?
Hmmmm… no wonder I’ve been feeling like I have been sent back to yesterday. And you’re not there.

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If only I could kiss that frown away…

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Ladki Badi Enida Hai

Posted in Pokrovsky Boulevard, tagged on March 28, 2010| 5 Comments »

At 5am yesterday, I found myself sprawling in the hallway with a pen in one hand, forehead in the sketchbook and my lips wet-kissing my own writing. I could not remember falling asleep. Who can, anyway. But I remember being attacked by the overflowing-ness of my ideas around 3am as I was getting to bed.

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Since I simply could not get settled, I got up, grabbed my sketchbook and my Pilot G2-07, and just sat where the light was left switched on – outside the kids bathroom. The door was left open as well so Edrick could find his way there in the middle of the night. To get myself comfortable, I laid down on my tummy. And I simply started writing.

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The next thing I knew, there was a pressing pain on the side of my forehead. Sure enough it was the weight of my sleepy head against the binder ring of my sketchbook/organizer. The first thing that came to my mind was a song from Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, that is Ladki Badi Anjani Hai.

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If that wasn’t strange enough, get this… the first person that came to mind was Hans Isaac. How’s that for sleepwriting? I must have climbed Kilimanjaro with Hans and rolled down the mountain. I probably rolled  away waaaayyy too far and landed in the hallway, in this place on Pokrovsky Hills. As for Hans Isaac… uh, could that be him waiting for me in bed?

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I need sleep.

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I need a lot of sleep.

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Sejak

Posted in Poetry, tagged on March 27, 2010| Leave a Comment »

Sejak

Hati ini
sewaktu tak ada cinta
tak ada lagunya.

Sejak ada kasihmu
aku galas semuanya
Beban Kasih Asmara.
Aku cari walau seribu
Penawar Rindu.

Curilah lagi
hatiku ini.

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*Enida
March 26, 2010
Pokrovsky Hills.

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Sampai Nanti

Posted in Poetry, tagged on March 18, 2010| 6 Comments »

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Sampai Nanti

Sampai nanti
langit hilang birunya
samudera hilang gelora
dan antara kita
tak lagi ada puisi,
baru hilang sesalku
tak mengucup tanganmu.

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Enida
June 1, 2004
Karak Highway

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Sedangkan Lidah

Posted in Abang, Humor, tagged on March 17, 2010| 4 Comments »

Abang…

Ya.

Abaaang…

Iyyyaaa sayang.

Nak dengar citer tak?

Citer apa?

Citer orang tamak.

Citer orang tamak?

Ha’ah, citer orang tamak.

Tamak apa?

Tamak cili.

Tamak cili?

Ha’ah, tamak cili.

Cili?

Iya, cili.

Cili… cili cabai?

Iyalah, cili cabai lah.

Cabai apa?

Cabai burung.

Hah? Cabai burung?

Iyyyyaaa, cabai burung.

Citer cabai burung apa Ida ni?

Taaakkk. Semalam… kan Ida pegi pasor Vietnamese tu kan?

Hmmm…

Ida nampak cili api yang fresh sangat.

Dah cili api pulak? Tadi kata cabai burung.

Cabai burung tu lah. Sama lah tu.

Sama ke?

Saaama.

Abang rasa cabai burung tu sama dengan cili padi lah ‘da. Bukan cili api. Cili api sama dengan cabai Melaka.

Sama lah bang. Abang niiii! Nak dengor tak Ida nak citer ni?

Ehehehe. Aaaa… okay lah okay lah. Haa, citer citer.

Cabai burung tu fresh se’sangat. Ida tak sampai hati nak beli segengggam je.

Dah tu, Ida beli berapa genggam lah?

Ida tak genggam pun bang. Ida beli satu beg yang dia jual tu semua.

Hah?

Haa tu lah, Ida borong semua cabai burung tu. Sikit tak tinggal.

Jualan penghabisan stok ke apa kedai tu sayang?

Tak de laaah.

Dah tu Ida borong semua sampai sikit pun tak tinggal tu?

Dah cabai burung tu fresh sangat.

So salah cabai tu lah eh?

Tak jugak. Tu semua salah Abang.

Aikkk? Apasal salah Abang pulak?

Ye lah, Abang yang suruh Ida pegi pasor Vietnamese tu.

Eh, ni citer orang tamak ke citer Abang yang bersalah ni sayang?

Citer orang tamak dah abis lah bang. Ni citer cabai burung.

Abang ingatkan citer cabai burung dah abis bila Ida abiskan stok akak Vietnamese tu. Tak ke?

Beluuummm. Belum abis lagi citer tu. Ada sikit lagi.

Ohhhh okay. Chober sambung citer cabai burung Ida tu.

Eh chop! Tiba-tiba citer cabai burung pun dah abis jugak bang.

Pulak? Apasal mengejut sangat ending dia sayang?

Ye lah. Burung dah terbang dipipiskan lada.

Ini ada lada yang nak kena pipis dengan burung ni karang.

Abang! Jangan laaaa…

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