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Anal-ogy

Posted in Facebook, Sense on July 8, 2013| Leave a Comment »

I read a status on Facebook today that made me take really deep breaths after shaking my head in pity. There is just so much negativity floating around, it is worse that the worst haze!

.Life is like...

But more than anything, what the person wrote was nothing but airing his own dirty laundry. And I was immediately thinking of an analogy…

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So if you fart in public, (seriously!) because there is just no way you can hold the gas, do you yell, “EXCUSE ME! YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE! I FARTED! I JUST DID! THANK YOU.” Do you? Let say your fart is the silent-killer kind of fart. The kind you can’t tell coming until it chokes you to death. And you are gone in 2.571 seconds. Seriously, do you make an announcement that it was YOU who farted the farting stinky fart?

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You don’t.

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Thoughts -> words.

There are things you don’t make public. There are things you don’t tell. Or shouldn’t. You are just a human, let’s get over it. You fart. When things get worse, you fart liquid. The worst… solid. Regardless of the output, you fart. You fart because you cannot NOT fart. Or you’ll be floating in the air just like the negativity that is floating around worse than the worst haze. And you are worse because you will explode if you don’t fart.

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I digress, yes, but seriously… can we just focus on the solutions? If you live your life without problems – or what I would rather call challenges, you won’t achieve anything. I am trying very hard to not to say, “If you don’t want challenges in life, go die.” I don’t have the heart to say that. Let me just say this:

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If you don’t want to fart, don’t eat.

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I Could Have Told You

Posted in Hurt, Sense on May 31, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Come to think of it, I don’t want to save the world anymore. It’s not because I’ve tried. And it’s not because I’m tired.

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But the world doesn’t want to be saved.

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Those at war for a piece of barren land would still want to go to war for the sake of fighting for a piece of barren land. Fighting gives them something to do. They have something to die for and the war is something to die at.

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Those who no longer love their loved ones stay in their marriage or relationship (or partnership or whatever name they give their ship…) for the sake of their marriage. They are there for the sake of being there. The marriage gives them something to be there for when they have nowhere else to be at.
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When I came home from the land far away, I set myself out to save the world. I believed I had a beautiful soul and the whole world was supposed to be the garden of eden. Three years into this mission, I was woken up by a familiar song…

You suffered for your sanity....

But I could have told you Vincent… this world was never meant for one as beautiful as you.

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Bila Ku Kenang Ku Renung…

Posted in Hurt, Sense on April 25, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Sekitar tahun dua ribu tujuh saya menghadirkan diri ke majlis pengkebumian seorang yang tidak saya kenali sewaktu hayatnya. Yang saya kenal cuma isteri yang ditinggalkannya. Pemergian yang tiba-tiba. Terlalu awal. Terlalu tidak sempat semuanya.

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Saya tidak ikut ke pusara. Cuma berbual-bisik perlahan di anjung rumah bersama teman-teman yang turut hadir memberikan kekuatan kepada isteri almarhum. Tiba-tiba saya disapa dengan agak keras oleh seorang teman lama. Beliau bertanya…

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“Engkau lama di tanah arab, kan?”

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Saya mengangguk tersenyum sambil memberikan isyarat lima jari dan menyebut ‘lima tahun’ tanpa suara. Ini bukan majlis nya untuk saya berbual mesra. Saya tidak bermaksud mencari perhatian semua telinga yang mendengar dengan hati yang diam dan muram.

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“Lima tahun kat sana, balik tak reti-reti nak tutup kepala?”

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Saya membetulkan selendang dan bermohon diri. Sedih saya pada yang Tuhan panggil, tambah sedih mengenang yang jahil.

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Universe All

Posted in Reading, Sense on March 14, 2013| Leave a Comment »

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The Universe Always Says Yes
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The universe (the energy of all that is in your life) will always say yes to your thoughts.

If you think negative thoughts, the universe will say, “Okay, I agree with you,” and bring you negative results.

If you think positive thoughts, the universe will say, “Okay, I agree with you,” and bring you positive results.

In every situation, the universe will say YES!

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~Joe Vitale
in Life’s Missing Instruction Manual

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Words on thoughts...

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That’s why I always believe that if we call someone a donkey darling, the universe brings more donkeys darlings our way. I quit swearing long time ago, it was just too tiring. I guess you can tell by looking at how much energy I have now. Oh I am nice. Yes. That’s what I choose to be. But I am very choosy — about my thoughts, my words, and my darlings.

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Bebelan Petang Yang Ikut Kepala Sendiri

Posted in Bebel, Sense on February 20, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Sia nda mintak kau sisir sia punya rambut. Nda mintak kau beli sia punya simpu. Nda mintak kau bayar sia punya bil salon. Bah! Nda usah kau sibuk-sibuk papa jak sia mok bikin dangan sia punya kepala. Mok butak kah, mok ternak kutu kah, mok pakai tudung saji kah. Kau nda kenal sia, jangan kau pandai-pandai mok nasihat sia masam kau kenal sia ampatpuluh tahun. Masam kau tuh teda dosa jak kunuk. Banyak jak urang tutup di atas, bawah gik bikin foto kasi tease tanakwagu.

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Suda lah kau, sana kau pigi!

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Siri Bercakap Dengan Edrick XXXVIII

Posted in Humor, Monchies, Sense, tagged on January 15, 2013| Leave a Comment »

It was late, and we were still talking about the Mayans and the 21122012-belief on the way home from picking up Bibik at the airport on December 21st, last year.

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Edrick: Mom, are  you sure today’s not the doom’s day?

Enida: Ohhh it’s pretty late now for this world to end. It’s almost midnight.

Edrick: And what’s gonna happen tomorrow if today is not the doom’s day?

Enida: I will have to do laundry tomorrow. And you have to help.

Edrick: Arrrggghhh pickles!

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Penawar luka di hati Mommy... Kitreena looked at me and I looked at Kitreena. Kitreena rolled her eyes to Edrick’s old curse word. And I knew even if the world came to an end that night, I had my angels with me.

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Sila Sila Sila

Posted in Sense on January 11, 2013| Leave a Comment »

Boleh kalau nak bercakap kasar, nak marah-marah, nak membaling-baling barang, nak membentak-bentak kalau nak. Boleh juga kalau nak memaki hamun, mencarut-carut, meninggi suara dan menghempas pintu kalau mahu. Tak ada siapa kata tak boleh. Tak ada siapa melarang.

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Sila lah.

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Bila marah itu reda dan kita mampu berkata, “Saya bangga bila dapat bercakap kasar, membaling-baling barang dan membentak-bentak. Saya kagum dengan tindakan saya memaki hamun, mencarut-carut, meninggi suara dan menghempas pintu bila saya marah tadi. Pasti yang memandang akan hormat pada saya selepas ini.”

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Sila lah.

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Semenanjung What?

Posted in Sense on November 17, 2012| Leave a Comment »

If the situation were reversed, and it was our land that we were protecting, our women and children that were brutally murdered… do you think the people of Semenanjung Gaza would fight for us, with us? Would they know where our Semenanjung Malaysia was? Would they even care?

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Kalaulah keadaan yang sama menimpa kita, tanahair kita yang kita pertahankan, wanita dan anak-anak kita yang dibunuh dengan kejam… apakah anda fikir mereka yang di Semenanjung Gaza akan berjuang untuk kita, bersama-sama kita? Adakah mereka tahu di mana letaknya Semenanjung Malaysia kita ini? Apakah mereka malah peduli?

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They say, the hardest battle to win is against absurdity.

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Kata orang, perjuangan yang paling payah ialah menentang kekarutan. 

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Tuuhan Oku

Posted in Inside Enida, Sense, Write On on November 16, 2012| 2 Comments »

Ringkas jak status kawan sia di Facebook pagi tadi. Dia bilang suruh kitaurang ceria di pagi hari Jumaat neh. Yes, that’s all. Tapi sia rasa macam tu status ditujukan khusus untuk sia yang nda bagitu ceria sabab ada lima gantang laundry mok kasi abis sampai paringkat seterika. Mok pupus suda isi perut lemari bajuku.

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Trus tiba-tiba sia teringat kawan sia yang suda lama sakit kencing manis. Trus sia bersyukur, nda brani marungut merengus maratap menangis hidup sia nda ceria. Badan sia sihat teda penyakit, poket sia ada lah sekian ringgit nda kosong, anak-anak sia bagus jak riang gembira. Palagi yang nda manis dalam hidup sia neh? Lagi nda mok ceria kah? Aihhhh!

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Trus sia buat-buat senyum manis-manis sambil bikin kopi nda taruk gula. Ceria suda neh!

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Tuuhan oku. (Bahasa Dusun)
= I’m thirsty / Saya haus.

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Sad Movies Make You Cry?

Posted in Sense, Service on September 10, 2012| 1 Comment »

Semua orang ada cerita sedih masing-masing.

Everybody has their own sad stories.

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And my sad story last week was… my under-the-staircase storage room doorknob broke. Bibik was going in to check on the t-shirt stock, she turned the knob, it came off and the knob on the inside fell off the door! Sad, wasn’t it? But the sadder part was… it was Friday evening, the Mesra Terrace’s technician had just been fired by the management, and Enida the Questa è Enida had NO tools to open any sesame, let alone to open doors.

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Today, almost three days later, I, Enida the Questa è Enida broke the door open with a piece of shoelace. Thanks to the McGuyver in me. As sad as it could be, no one was crying. Including the owner of the shoelace. And hey, who needs a technician to figure out how to open a broken-knob door?

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The other sad story was, last week… the propane tank regulator (for the kitchen stove) broke. I was just about to boil some eggs to make breakfast and prepare the lunch box for Monchies. Yes, the regulator broke. Sad, wasn’t it? But the sadder part was, I had no time to go to any hardware store to get it replaced. For the whole week, Bibik and I cooked using the Electrolux induction cooker I bought almost two years ago. It is, ya know, one of those ‘just-in-case’ gadgets.

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Yesterday, almost a week after the regulator was about to make its way to the garburator, I went to Sia Thai Yew Hardware at Solaris Dutamas to get a replacement. Yes, I could have gone to ACE Hardware first. But I always like small kampung-style hardware shops as the service is almost always personalized. But the sad thing was, it was closed.

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Okay, I lied! I didn’t go to ACE Hardware Store first not because I like small kampung-style hardware shops and their personalized service. But because I knew… if I went to ACE Hardware first, I was going to be tempted to look at regulators and every little tool, gadget, electrical appliance, detergent, spray paint, pot, barbecue stuff and everything visible at all aisles and all corners of the whole store! It would be really sad if I found something that I wasn’t looking for.

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I did come home with a regulator.

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However, in my ACE Hardware shopping bag, there were two other things… a bottle of thinner and a Goo-Gone Painter’s Pal spray gel to remove the red paint on my favorite kebarung I have been wearing since 1996. Oh yeah, that is another sad story — the red paint on my white-green kebarung. But that is an entire different entry.

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And that was yesterday.

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Today, I, Enida the Questa è Enida, would like to tell my new sad stories… there is a leak in the kids’ bathroom that is coming down to the kitchen ceiling by the pantry wall, all air-conditioners need servicing, plus there is a short circuit that makes the ceiling fan in the living room now unusable.

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In tears, I am calling McJegan on 019 3054215.
(Unless you can give me McGuyver’s number.)

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