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It’s All Write Now

January 20, 2012 by Enida

There are times when I feel like letting my guard down, sitting here pouring my heart out in as many words as I can write on this Questa è Enida blog, telling about everything that I have gone through, everything that has broken me to pieces, slices, chunks, granules and eventually to dust.

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But as I was finishing the previous sentence, I was struck hard by my own inability to answer my own question: Why? Words might not come easy, and juicy stories might sell. But mine are not cheap. I only have one life here.

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The wrongs…

Do I write about them or do I just right them?

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Posted in Inside Enida, Write On | 1 Comment »

Say It Isn’t So

January 18, 2012 by Enida

It was Tuesday, twenty-three days after Christmas. I picked her up at school and while waiting for her brother who was having his guitar class, I told her that she was to Skype with Daddy on Wednesday. She looked surprised. For a few seconds she just stared at me with that searching look in her eyes. No words came from her mouth. Then she turned away.

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She covered her eyes with the back of her hand and I knew what was coming. Her right shoulder was shaking lightly to my touch. It was that silent cry that broke my heart to the finest pieces. She had nothing to say. All had been said the night she woke up crying when I kissed her in her sleep. She misses him. That’s all there is to it. What else? If it now comes down to me having to make an appointment for the kids to speak to their father, words sure don’t come easy.

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Posted in Hurt, Monchies | Tagged | 5 Comments »

Siri Bercakap Dengan Edrick XXXI

January 16, 2012 by Enida

It was Saturday and I was making some Ayam Goreng Kunyit with some French Beans. All sautéing in one pan on low heat just waiting to brown a bit, when I joined my little big man in the living room exercising his fingers on the PS3.

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Mommy: Hmmm… the whole house smells like my cooking, huh?

Edrick: Yeah, whatcha cookin’ Mom?

Mommy: Chicken.

Edrick: But it smells like scrambled eggs.

Mommy: Scrambled eggs? But I’m cooking chicken.

Edrick: But it smells like eggs.

Mommy: Hmmm… but I’m cooking chicken okay.

Edrick: Okay. But it smells like eggs.

Mommy: All right. But it’s chicken.

Edrick: I know, Mom. But I am telling you it smells like scrambled eggs.

Mommy: Sure, but that’s because eggs come from chicken.

Edrick: Oh yeah. That makes sense. Okay then.

Mommy: *is still puzzled by the instant and quick argument*

Edrick: But Mommm… the chicken sure smells like eggs.

Mommy: *malas mok argue suda, so she rolls her eyes and clucks away*

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Posted in Monchies | Tagged | 8 Comments »

Tongue Thing

January 5, 2012 by Enida

I am pretty much like my dad when it comes to munching on snacks. Snacks? Uh, perhaps junks is a slightly more honest term. 😉 But the point is, we both like fish crackers — keropok ikan. Dad and I can eat keropok ikan like there’s no tomorrow. I remember back then, we could even have it with rice as lauk when we didn’t like Mom cooking cockles (kerang) for lunch, or beef lungs (paru or kelempung). Iyewww!

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Anyway, last year I was introduced by a local friend to a Kuala Kemaman’s fish cracker place called Keropok Intan. Yeah, what’s with the name eh? Regardless, the cleanliness of the place makes me feel like buying the whole shop! And so I have been munching on keropok Intan very very often since. Oh yes, very!

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But for the first time in my life, today, right here, right now, as I am writing this… I am experiencing some ‘technical difficulties’ continuing munching on Keropok Intan after only the fifth piece this afternoon at my office. I, the Questa è Enida, accidentally have a small piece of fish bone stuck in my tongue!

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As soon as I can get this bone out… I think I should call Kak Ani, the owner of Keropok Intan business, to urge her to rename the keropok. I am not going to talk about taking her to court for my tongue injury, or bertikam lidah with her about my lidah or anything. But if she is ever thinking about re-branding, she can use my name anytime. Kepok Enida, owk? 😉

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Now, who says lidah tidak bertulang?

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Posted in Makan-Makan, Write On | 3 Comments »

Tapi

January 5, 2012 by Enida

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Ada Tapi

Engkaulah kilat memancar
di langit berbintang
bulan mengambang
di hari siang.
Ada, tapi hilang.

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*Enida
Febbraio 2002
Piazza San Marco
Venezia

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Posted in Poetry | Leave a Comment »

Siri Bercakap Dengan Edrick XXX

January 2, 2012 by Enida

Edrick: Mommy, there are fourrrr things you can do with money.

Mommy: Oh really? And what are the fourrrr things, Monch?

Edrick: You can earn money.

Mommy: Yes.

Edrick: You can save it.

Mommy: Right on!

Edrick: You can spend it. Aaaand you can donate it, Mom.

Mommy: Wow! Where did you learn all this?

Kitreena: He heard it from TV, Mom. *rolls her eyes*

Mommy: You did? And you remember all the fourrr? That’s awesome!

Edrick: Yeah, I remember all fourrrr. Earn, save, spend and donate.

Mommy: So what do you wanna do with your money, Monch?

Edrick: I wanna save mine.

Mommy: That’s my boy! And what are you gonna do with yours, Kitreena?

Kitreena: I’m gonna save some, spend some and donate some, Mom.

Mommy: Awww baby, you’re such a sweetheart. I really like this TV thing you’ve been watching.

Edrick: Mommy, Mommy… what are you gonna do with your money?

Mommy: I think I am gonna have to spend some money and get a new TV.

Monchies: Horrayyyyyyy!

Mommy: *rolls her eyes*

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Our Samsung Slim-Fit TV is older than Edrick and its infra-red receiver is not working anymore. We have been cursing on the remote control for the whole month of school holidays, thinking it was the remote that had been giving the problems. Tried changing the batteries and even singing to the thing, hoping that some tender loving care would fix it. But we either have to go shopping for a new TV soon, or downgrade to our 12-year old JVC mammoth-butt TV that has been sitting in the guest bedroom waiting for the guest that has cancelled the visit at the eleventh hour. Bah!

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Posted in Monchies | Tagged | 3 Comments »

Sendelete

December 24, 2011 by Enida

Things are changing around me. So are people. And so am I. And because of that, I should not be holding on to the email draft I have kept in the folder renamed as ‘Wishful Thinking’. Not anymore. I should just send them out or delete them. Either way, I am not going to read them again. I am different now.

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Posted in Inside Enida | 1 Comment »

Diam-Diam Rindu

December 23, 2011 by Enida

Ida…

… *diam*

Idaaa…

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Jawap laaa…

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Tak baik tau Abang panggil Ida tak jawap cenggini.

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Ida merajuk ya?

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Sayang…

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Sayang? Heyyy come onnn…

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Okay. Cuba sayang bagitau Abang kenapa sayang merajuk.

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Eh tak, tak. Jap jap! Sebelum bagitau kenapa, cuba sayang bagitau Abang, sayang ni merajuk ke… atau line ni yang dah putus tapi Abang je yang bercakap sorang. Or entahkan ada operator Celcom yang tengah kesian dengar Abang pujuk sayang tapi sayang bolayan. Eh, tapi kan sayang… sekarang ni phone companies pakai ke lagi operator macam zaman telefon kena dail dulu tu? Abang pernah bagitau sayang tak, dulu Abang selalu berangan nak kawin dengan operator telefon tau. Sebab yang Abang nampak operator telefon ni selalu pakai kebaya. Lawa ooo! Tapi bila asek dengar suara operator yang garang macam mak tiri, terus Abang tukar fikiran. Abang tak sanggup kena bentak hari-hari kalau isteri Abang marah ke, merajuk ke. Biar tentu dia diaaaammm je macam sayang. Kalau nangis, Abang pujuk.

*terus nangis*

Ohhh sayang ada! Abang ingat Abang bercakap dengan operator Celcom tadi. Alaaa… Abang baru nak meng-ayat, Ida dah ada. Hehehehe.

Abang niiii! Dah lah. Ida nak bertukar kepada DiGi! Benci tau! *tambah nangis*

I miss you too, sayang. Hehehehe.

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Posted in Abang, Humor | Leave a Comment »

Nothing Else

December 22, 2011 by Enida

For a day that day, I just let me be. There I was… a spinning top at the end of the rope in the morning, and by late afternoon I was hitting everything that was in my way. By the time I lit the candles for Mom, I was in total darkness ready to hit everything else that was still in my way.

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And then, like a reminder that was meant to be… Mom’s words came to me pouring like rain when I had nowhere to run. She said, when in pain, try watching your children sleeping. As you want nothing to touch them, nothing can touch you. Heaven is on earth for those who are willing to stand still for a while and embrace peace.

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When I turned the lights off and closed the kids’ bedroom door behind me, all the hurt caused by unkind words I read earlier was healed. Mom was probably watching me watching Monchies sleeping.

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The next day I held a baby who was born on Mom’s 63rd birthday, and my babies were right beside me, aah-ing and ooh-ing over the little daisy. I embraced them and was grateful for what I have and what I had.

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I had a good mother.

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Posted in Hurt, Mom, Monchies | 9 Comments »

Didn’t I Tell You?

December 22, 2011 by Enida

Didn’t I Tell You?

Didn’t I tell you?
Do not leave me.
For I am your only friend.
I am the spring of life.

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Even if you leave in anger
for thousands of years
you will come back to me.
For I am your goal and your end.
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Didn’t I tell you?
Not to be seduced by this colorful world.
For I am the ultimate painter.
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Didn’t I tell you?
You are a fish.
Do not go to dry land.
For I am the deep sea.

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Didn’t I tell you?
Not to fall in the net like birds.
For I am your wings
and the power of light.

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Didn’t I tell you?
Not to let them change your mind
and turn you to ice.
For I am your fire and warmth.

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Didn’t I tell you?
They will corrupt you
and make you forget
that I am the spring of all virtues.

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Didn’t I tell you?
Not to question my actions.
For everything falls into order.
I am the Creator.

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Didn’t I tell you?
Your heart can guide you home
because it knows that I am your Master.

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by Rumi

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Posted in Poetry, Write On | 2 Comments »

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