I makan spaghetti petang tadi, ingat you. I makan sandwich malam semalam, ingat you. I makan keropok losong Pak Ngah lepas makan spaghetti dua suap ni pun, ingat you. Apatah lagi bila I makan asam pedas ikan kembung yang you cadangkan I masak esok tu, dah tentu lah I ingat you.
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I sampai tak pergi makan angin, ingat you. Dan bila you tak ada, I makan hati… ingat you. .
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I tau lah you sentiasa ada dalam hati I. Tapi you kat mana? You… you kat mana?
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Posted in Bebel, Humor, Inside Enida, Makan-Makan | Tagged Awak awak kat mana?, Awak kat mana? | Leave a Comment »
Datin nak sindir-sindir dan dengan ghairahnya menghentam orang seperti saya yang kononnya mengagung-agungkan bahasa Inggeris dalam penulisan dan pertuturan seharian, Datin tahu kah saya ini sebenarnya fasih dan lancar dalam kedua-dua bahasa? Dalam Bahasa Melayu, saya yang berketurunan Cina dan India ini berpantun boleh, bersajak boleh, bersyair boleh. Malah bergurindam pun saya boleh. Cuba Datin minta secara rawak rakyat Malaysia untuk berpantun. Saya yakin, pembayang pantun daripada kebanyakan mereka adalah…
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Pak Ali pergi ke kedai,
pergi ke kedai membeli…
Sentiasa saja Pak Ali kita ini hendak pergi ke kedai membeli something. Dan inilah realitinya kalau ada orang kita yang masih boleh berpantun. Lihat saja pantun-pantun di media cetak, atau dengar saja pantun-pantun meski di saluran radio Klasik Nasional sekalipun. Naik malu saya membaca dan mendengarnya.
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Dan something seperti penggunaan Bahasa Inggeris saya ini yang Datin kecohkan sangat, kenapa? Atau barangkali Datin sebenarnya hanya hendak menutup kelemahan Datin berbahasa Inggeris?
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Datin…
Bahasa Inggeris itu kerjaya saya. Perkongsian ilmu saya. Periuk nasi saya. Rezeki saya. Jiwa Malaysia saya tak usahlah Datin pertikaikan hanya kerana kefasihan, kebiasaan dan kerjaya saya. Daripada Datin mengecam orang-orang seperti saya, barangkali lebih bermanfaat jika pejuang bahasa dan budaya seperti Datin betulkan saja anak bangsa Datin yang semakin tidak pandai mengeja. Mereka ini lah yang kurang diajar dan kurang ajar.
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Tapi kalau Datin nak saya ajarkan Bahasa Inggeris… pun boleh.
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Posted in Culture, Grammaticalizationism, Language, Malaysiana, Sense | 4 Comments »
Did you know that it annoys Kitreena so much when she kisses me on the side of my head and I would shake my head as if it were on a spring and then I would wiggle my whole body as though it had a spring effect from the little kisses?
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I do that a lot. And I have been doing that for many many years now, enjoying the reaction I get from my baby girl every single time. She would roll her eyes and she would shake her head in disbelief to see how silly her mom can be at times.
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And these days, it is her who would discipline me more than I would discipline her. I seem to be goofier as I get older, she thinks. Well, I guess I wasn’t this goofy back then when she and her brother were in diapers. I was too busy to be goofy.
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But I do hope that…
It is the goofiness of her Mom that makes the world a little bearable. For her.
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Posted in Monchies | Tagged Single-Parenting | Leave a Comment »
The not-so-nice thing about being a cheerful person like me is that, I am expected to not ever be the opposite of cheerful. It is not acceptable to see me in a sad state. And I am definitely banned from entering any sorry state. God forbids if I ever reach out and ask for help. Goodness, that is so not me. So unbecoming.
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It is like being told to wear short white skirt to do a horseback riding for the first time and being expected to not lose balance, fall, get dirty or be embarrassed. Okay, I know the analogy is not quite realistic. But so is the expectation.
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K-bye!
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Posted in Inside Enida, Sense | Leave a Comment »
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I used to get unnecessarily overworked with my own unnecessary worries over Kitreena’s handwriting. At 3 and a half, she decided that her letter ‘b’ should look like a ‘d’. But the theory that people change is proven correct. She has changed. She has grown. Beautifully so.
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Posted in Monchies | Tagged Parenting | Leave a Comment »
I did. . .
I purposely took some time away for myself and with myself to sit me down so I can write what I have been wanting to say. I really wanted to say how much I treasure this last year especially, for I have stood up for myself. For I have finally stopped letting me be a reserved player. Yes, I wanted to say it. Probably not that way, and not in those words exactly. But I wanted to say it.
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I did.
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I wanted to thank my husband (still is my husband although he has taken up another woman to sleep in our bed – his bed now, not our bed, because I left him – to clean his place top to bottom, to cook him breakfast, lunch and dinner, and to treat him right. Something he claims I never did. Or maybe something I never did right).
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I did.
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I really wanted to thank him profoundly. For all his love and appreciation. And perhaps for his speedy recovery from the pain I inflicted upon him by leaving Moscow. I wanted time and space. Not a divorce. But since he thinks he doesn’t love me anymore and is not willing to let go of a woman who is standing by him right now – something he claimed I didn’t do – maybe I should agree that a divorce would be the best for both of us.
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I did.
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Written on: March 11th, 2011.
Published on: November 17th, 2014.
The reason for this entry not published on the date it was written:
I had to learn to let time tell the story. Words were inadequate.
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Posted in Hurt, Inside Enida | Leave a Comment »
Kerana kita ini manusia. Dan kerana manusia mudah cenderung kepada yang negative, berbaik sangka itu menjadi sesuatu yang perlu kita ajar diri.
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That is how I started this entry. I fell asleep for 38 minutes after writing it, though. Apparently it was a tough battle trying not to sound like I am preaching. My intention was just to tell a story of ‘berbaik sangka’. But I suppose, as human as I am, being positive is a conscious and constant decision.
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Anyway, the story is pretty simple. A friend mentioned on Twitter about this FourSquare application that I myself just got the hang of. Well, just for the fun of checking in at places, ya know. The difference is, the users get points for every check-in. That is about the only ‘game’ I play these days for points.
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So okay, the friend was a bit annoyed with someone in her contact list who would check in at every mosque or prayer room visited. This friend went on saying that God needs no apps to check a soul in to heaven. I rolled my eyes! Oh did I ever roll my big round eyes, I tell you, when I read that comment. 🙂
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Look, mister… since when does Facebooking, Twittering, FourSquaring and internet-ing have anything to do with God? People check in on FourSquare to let others know their whereabouts. As simple as that. More often than not, people check in just to annoy their cool friends with pictures of cool places, drinking some cool drinks with other cool friends. But if they are like me, the Questa è Enida, I check in to collect points. FourSquare points. Not pahala.
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So my baik-sangka is… Other people are probably very much like me.
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Written on: May 5th, 2012
Published on: November 17th, 2014
The reasons for the this entry being published only today:
Because I just wanted something to be published. Because I have not been writing. Because I have not been reading my own writing for ages. Because I feel like I am going insane if I kept on NOT reading and NOT writing any longer. Because I can. Because it’s there (my blog is there, or here, for that matter). Because I imagine if I do not write right now, I am just gonna go to bed dead. Not that I was much alive anyway. But for the rest of my life, let there be words. Not light. Light can go out on me for all I care. Just let these words be me.
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Posted in Sense, Write On | Leave a Comment »
I go check all place. From bedroom to carbird. Inside all drawer oso looking. One by one. Oready so long I buy the book. Before I go Kuching wif chudren that day. Two book I buy. One toury guide, one this Singlish book. Because I like broken English. Naymine, dis day who care grammer what? English got class. Stardy from book oso can get diploma loh. Easy busy.
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So I look-look, still cannot remember oready how the book look alike. So many book, so sayang, but wana read all oso got no time. Keep here, keep there. Never read. For display ony. Book carbird oso no have in my house. Keep every where. If reading book got no time, how can writing got time? Impossiber.
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But got English class next week, I tell you. Because English got class, got standard. Must learn one. Broken oso can repair.
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Posted in Bebel, Grammaticalizationism, Language | Leave a Comment »
The kids and I got into an excitement of a conversation on the way to Pak Ngah Studio last night. It went from one topic to another; from immortality to vampires. Even my pronunciation of ‘draculas’ got corrected by both Kitreena and Edrick simultaneously in the heat of the conversation. Haha malunya!
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We then moved on to the word in Māori that I learned today from my fellow trainer. The word is ‘tahi’, which means ‘one’ – yeah, the number.
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Mommy: Did you know that in Māori, the word for number one is ‘tahi‘?
Kitreena: Haaaa? Hahahahahaha!
Mommy: Do you know what tahi means in Bahasa, Edrick?
Edrick: Nooo…
Kitreena: It’s poop lah Edrick! Hahahaha.
Edrick: Uhhh… I kinda thought of it. But what’s Māori?
Mommy: The Māori are the native people of New Zealand.
Edrick: Hmmm…
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At this point, it just came naturally to me to do the Haka Dance for Edrick to associate Māori with Haka and the All Blacks, of course. And I did! I did the Haka Dance. Driving and all. Good thing we were at the traffic lights.
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There I was… wearing my pinkish red baju batik with my usual white skirt doing the ugliest Haka Dance with the ugliest Haka warrior face ever while driving my two Canadian kids to their Malay Dance training session! I made up the words to sound like Māori and I exaggerated the dance… like real.
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The kids looked at me with their expressionless face, not knowing whether to laugh or to cry.
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Kitreena: Okay Mom, that’s good. I think Edrick knows what Haka Dance is now.
Mommy: Hehehe if there was a handsome man who wanted to marry me saw me doing that, I bet he’d change his mind.
Edrick: I officially agree with you, Mom. *pats Mommy’s left shoulder*
Mommy: Ouch! That officially hurts my feeling.
Edrick: I am sorry Mom.
Mommy: Naaahhh, no worries, Edrick.
Kitreena: But why handsome man, Mom?
Mommy: Well, I was just saying it. I don’t mind marrying a not-so-handsome man too, ya know. I don’t want to berebut with other ladies to get him.
Kitreena: So, are you saying you want the opposite now?
Edrick: Opposite of what? *tries really hard to follow the conversation*
Kitreena: Opposite of handsome, Edrick.
Mommy: Well, I don’t really care how he looks like as long as he is not grumpy.
Kitreena: What about bald?
Mommy: I don’t mind bald, I just mind grumpy. I was with a bald and grumpy one for 12 years. Tak nak dah!
Kitreena: Hahahaha!
Mommy: Why are we even talking about me marrying the opposite of a handsome man?
Kitreena: You started it, Mommm!
Mommy: I did? Hehehe malunya!
Posted in Culture, Humor, Monchies | Tagged Single-Parenting | Leave a Comment »
I tau I cerewet. You nak bengang, bengang lah. Tak apa. I dah tak kisah dah. I tau apa yang I suka dan apa yang I tak suka. Kalau you tak suka apa yang I suka, tak payah suka. Ikut suka you lah apa you nak suka. Dan hari ini I nak buat apa yang I sendiri tak suka, iaitu membebel. Tapi kerana terpaksa, I nak membebel juga. Sebab ini pasal sesuatu yang I suka.
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I suka air suam.
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Ya, I suka air suam walaupun tak ramai yang suka. I suka. Sangat-sangat suka. Dan disebabkan I suka sangat air suam ni, I jadi cerewet bila kita makan kat luar and I akan order air suam exactly macam yang I suka. Bukan sebarang air suam yang I suka ni tau. Darjat air suam yang I suka ni tak ramai yang boleh capai. Jangan main-main. Ha, air suam I ada darjat, I tell you.
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Air suam yang I suka mesti lah panas sikit daripada suam. Tapi tak nak panas sangat. Suam dia mesti lah di antara boleh dan tak boleh diminum tu. Kalau setakat suam, pada I dah hampir sejuk. Cenggitu, baik air minum air sejuk. Tapi kalau panas sangat sampai tak boleh dihirup perlahan-lahan tu, pada I dah jadi air panas. Itu bukan suam. Baik I order teh ‘o’ panas-panas.
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I tau you faham I sebab you dah tak larat dengan kecerewetan I. You redha je kan? Tapi budak-budak pelayan yang ambik order air suam I ni susah nak jumpa yang faham perasaan I. Diorang tak faham bahawa darjah kesuaman air suam tu amat penting buat diri I ni.
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I dah banyak kali sangat kecewa. Sampaikan I serik nak order air suam. Padahal air suam je yang I order. Bukannya minuman yang complicated sangat macam Teh Tiga Lapis ke, Kopi ‘O’ Cham ke, Horlicks Pandan ke. Errr… ada ke? Entahlah, I pun dah tak tau mana satu reality dan fantasy. Sebab I cuma nakkan air suam je, just the way I like it. Susah sangat ke?
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Kadang-kadang I tau you pun bingung tengok I sampai tersinggung-minggung hanya kerana aktiviti meng-order air suam. Tak berbaloi sakit hati kerana air suam, you kata. Tapi yang you tak tau ialah… bila I dapat apa yang I hajati, bahagia yang I rasa kerana air suam… terasa sampai ke lubuk jiwa I yang paling dalam tau! Ha, begitu mudahnya membuat I bahagia.
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Dan sekarang ni bila you tak ada, I minum je air suam di rumah. Habis cerita. Tak ada sakit hati, kecik hati, terasa hati, jauh hati, patah hati bagai bila tak dapat air suam di takat suhu suam kesukaan hati I tu. Cuma… I discovered, rupanya bukan air suam yang panas sikit daripada suam tapi tak sejuk macam air suam biasa tu yang membahagiakan lubuk jiwa I yang paling dalam.
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Bukan itu.
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Posted in Write On | 2 Comments »
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Questa è Enida 