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🙂 When I put my status on Facebook as:
“Enida Supian-Johnson pergi ke kedai basikal hendak membeli seekor ayam. Apakah yang tergantung itu?”
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I did not mean to trick anyone. It wasn’t even a riddle. In fact, it was just me being sarcastic. It was all triggered by a friend of mine, Mr. Hugo Boss, who put his Facebook status as “Hugo Boss is at the barber.” One of the responses he got, “Are you there for a haircut?” sent me rolling on the floor laughing like there was no tomorrow. Or in my case, there was no yesterday.
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And that was why I came up with the pergi-ke-kedai-basikal-hendak-membeli-seekor-ayam status on Facebook.
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From my experience, more often than not, when I enter a kedai kain (fabric store), for example… I am asked, “Ya, nak cari apa kak?” I have been, to tell you the truth, very tempted to give silly answers. Like, “Nak cari kuali leper, ada jual tak kat kedai kain cik ni?” Or, I have once or twice thought of saying, “Akak ni nak cari jodoh sebenarnya. Kalau ada jual kat sini… uh, berapa harga nya agak-agak? Boleh kao tim meh? Kira harga first-time customer. Boleh la, boleh laaaa.”
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Nah, seriously… the principle is very simple, the way I see it. You want a haircut, you go to a barber or to that Schwartzkopf Salon on KLCC’s fourth floor. If you want a chicken, you don’t go to Kedai Basikal Joo Ngan on Jalan Ampang. If I am at a barber, do I need to be asked what I am doing there? Unless of course I am accompanying Mr. Hugo Boss who is there to get a brazilian wax. Ehem, I might as well have an affair with Mr. Barber. I promise I won’t scream, I’ll just moan.
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Cluck, cluck, cluck! Cluck, cluck, cluck!
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.Glossary for Neil and Mr. Hugo Boss:
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Enida pergi ke kedai basikal hendak membeli seekor ayam. Apakah yang tergantung itu?
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Enida goes to a bicycle shop as she wants to get a chook. What is that hanging?
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“Ya, nak cari apa kak?”
= Yes, what are you looking for, ma’am/miss?
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“Nak cari kuali leper, ada jual tak kat kedai kain cik ni?”
= I’m looking for a flat griddle, do you have it here in your fabric store?
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“Akak ni nak cari jodoh sebenarnya. Kalau ada jual kat sini… uh, berapa harga nya agak-agak? Boleh kao tim meh? Kira harga first-time customer. Boleh la, boleh laaaa.”
= I’m actually looking for a husband. If you have one here for sale… uh, what’s the price like, approximately? Can we negotiate on the price? You know, special price for a first-time customer perhaps. Come on, come onnnn.
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Ha’ah.
Memanglah I akui ada beberapa lelaki di Facebook I tu yang kacak, segak, tampan dan bergaya. Tapi takkan lah setiap gambar asek komen “Hai hemcem!” je. Move on and say something better already laaa deyy! I rasa lelaki-lelaki itu pun macam dah tau dah apa komen wanita-wanita ini. Tutup mata pun boleh baca.
Questa è Enida 