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Eleven Thirty

December 13, 2014 by Enida

Eleven thirty is eleven thirty okay!The appointment for the quarterly pest control spraying was at eleven thirty in the morning. Not at eleven. So when I was bugged at eleven zero three, you can imagine how far I was from being impressed. Eleven thirty is eleven thirty. Eleven hundred or eleven zero three is not eleven thirty. Which part of it that these pest control people do not understand?

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It was not the first time. The same bugger did the very same thing in September. Luckily the security was better then. I was called before they were allowed to come into the compound. I told the security that our appointment was at eleven thirty, not at ten forty-five. Forget it! I refused to be bugged at ten forty-five in the morning. I needed no excuse. Eleven thirty is eleven thirty, not ten forty-five. If I had wanted them to come at ten forty-five, I would not have agreed to an appointment at eleven thirty.

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So when I pestered Mr. Morgan about keeping time and how I was not impressed when they arrived almost half an hour early, he said he was just following the driver. I seriously thought he said he was just following the screwdriver.

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Posted in Write On | Leave a Comment »

Yu

November 25, 2014 by Enida

You buat apa tu, sayang?

Baru lepas goreng ikan.

Goreng ikan?

Ha’ah. Kita makan ikan keli hari ni okay kan?

Bukan setakat ikan keli. Malah lebih daripada tu pun I okay je makan.

Hah? Lebih daripada ikan keli, ikan apa?

Ailavyu...Ikan yu lah.

Ikan I?

Ha’ah ikan yu.

Errr… you ni buat lawak double meaning ke apa ni?

Apa pulak double meaning nya?

Mana I tau.

Betul lah ikan you. Sebab you yang rajin masak ikan, kan?

Habis, ikan I bukan ikan you jugak?

Bukan. I makan ikan you, sebab I tak ada ikan I.

I tak faham lah lawak semenanjung you ni, sayang. I kan orang Sabah.

Sabah lagi lah best. Dah lama I tak makan Sinagol Ikan Yu you tu.

Dah lah. Sejak bila I, I, you, you, ikan I, ikan you ni? Jam berapa balik?

Ini soalan memancing ikan I ke ni sayang?

Mengada lah. You lambat, I tak nak buat air asam.

Uishhh! Okay, okay! Ugutan you ni ganas macam ikan yu lah.

Baik. Kalau tak nak ganas, pergi cari sotong.

Jeng jeng jeng jeng jeng jeng! Sayang tau lagu tema cerita JAWS kan?

Tau. Bye!

Eh, eh! Bolayan lettewww.

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Posted in Abang, Humor, Makan-Makan | Leave a Comment »

Sepenanak Nasi

November 25, 2014 by Enida

Buah cempedak si buah salak,
mari dikaut dek orang kota;
Akal menidak jiwa menolak,
hati terpaut dek kata-kata.

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Mujur lah patik terbaca pantun lama patik ini, Tuanku. Dan mujurlah pantun patik langsung tak ada kena-mengena dengan perasaan patik yang benar-benar merajuk dengan Cik Dayang Istana Mesra. Sampai hati Cik Dayang kita tak bertanak nasi untuk santapan malam, Tuanku. Sungguhpun patik tak berasa lapar dan cuma berhajat untuk meratah ikan goreng yang ada, apabila patik dapati tiada walau sebutir pun nasi untuk dijamah, patik merajuk sampai menitis airmata hiba.

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Sekautan nasi Tuanku...

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Patik tahu patik boleh saja bertanak sendiri. Beras sudah siap bertampi, tungku pun sudah siap berkayu api. Sementara sepenanak nasi, boleh saja patik karang pantun barang tujuh rangkap. Sepenanak nasi, boleh saja patik turun bersiram di perigi biru. Tapi patik… memilih untuk merajuk juga. Kalau tidak kerana nasi melukut dan sayur keladi, entahkan jauh sudah patik bawa diri.

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Posted in Bibik, Language, Malaysiana, Poetry | Tagged , , | Leave a Comment »

Protected: Anita Nira’s Story

November 21, 2014 by Enida

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Posted in Culture, Malaysiana, Sense | Tagged |

Maka Makannya

November 20, 2014 by Enida

I makan spaghetti petang tadi, ingat you. I makan sandwich malam semalam, ingat you. I makan keropok losong Pak Ngah lepas makan spaghetti dua suap ni pun, ingat you. Apatah lagi bila I makan asam pedas ikan kembung yang you cadangkan I masak esok tu, dah tentu lah I ingat you.

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I sampai tak pergi makan angin, ingat you. Dan bila you tak ada, I makan hati… ingat you. .

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Maka makannya....

I tau lah you sentiasa ada dalam hati I. Tapi you kat mana? You… you kat mana?

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Posted in Bebel, Humor, Inside Enida, Makan-Makan | Tagged , | Leave a Comment »

Datin Something

November 20, 2014 by Enida

Datin nak sindir-sindir dan dengan ghairahnya menghentam orang seperti saya yang kononnya mengagung-agungkan bahasa Inggeris dalam penulisan dan pertuturan seharian, Datin tahu kah saya ini sebenarnya fasih dan lancar dalam kedua-dua bahasa? Dalam Bahasa Melayu, saya yang berketurunan Cina dan India ini berpantun boleh, bersajak boleh, bersyair boleh. Malah bergurindam pun saya boleh. Cuba Datin minta secara rawak rakyat Malaysia untuk berpantun. Saya yakin, pembayang pantun daripada kebanyakan mereka adalah…

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Pak Ali pergi ke kedai,
pergi ke kedai membeli…

Sentiasa saja Pak Ali kita ini hendak pergi ke kedai membeli something. Dan inilah realitinya kalau ada orang kita yang masih boleh berpantun. Lihat saja pantun-pantun di media cetak, atau dengar saja pantun-pantun meski di saluran radio Klasik Nasional sekalipun. Naik malu saya membaca dan mendengarnya.

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Dan something seperti penggunaan Bahasa Inggeris saya ini yang Datin kecohkan sangat, kenapa? Atau barangkali Datin sebenarnya hanya hendak menutup kelemahan Datin berbahasa Inggeris?
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Datin…
Bahasa Inggeris itu kerjaya saya. Perkongsian ilmu saya. Periuk nasi saya. Rezeki saya. Jiwa Malaysia saya tak usahlah Datin pertikaikan hanya kerana kefasihan, kebiasaan dan kerjaya saya. Daripada Datin mengecam orang-orang seperti saya, barangkali lebih bermanfaat jika pejuang bahasa dan budaya seperti Datin betulkan saja anak bangsa Datin yang semakin tidak pandai mengeja. Mereka ini lah yang kurang diajar dan kurang ajar.

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Tapi kalau Datin nak saya ajarkan Bahasa Inggeris… pun boleh.

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 Pantun ku ini....

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Posted in Culture, Grammaticalizationism, Language, Malaysiana, Sense | 4 Comments »

She… The Mirror of My Dreams

November 18, 2014 by Enida

Did you know that it annoys Kitreena so much when she kisses me on the side of my head and I would shake my head as if it were on a spring and then I would wiggle my whole body as though it had a spring effect from the little kisses?

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I do that a lot. And I have been doing that for many many years now, enjoying the reaction I get from my baby girl every single time. She would roll her eyes and she would shake her head in disbelief to see how silly her mom can be at times.

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And these days, it is her who would discipline me more than I would discipline her. I seem to be goofier as I get older, she thinks. Well, I guess I wasn’t this goofy back then when she and her brother were in diapers. I was too busy to be goofy.

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But I do hope that…
It is the goofiness of her Mom that makes the world a little bearable. For her.

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The Goofy Girlfie

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Posted in Monchies | Tagged | Leave a Comment »

Sudahlah

November 17, 2014 by Enida

Enida MarahThe not-so-nice thing about being a cheerful person like me is that, I am expected to not ever be the opposite of cheerful. It is not acceptable to see me in a sad state. And I am definitely banned from entering any sorry state. God forbids if I ever reach out and ask for help. Goodness, that is so not me. So unbecoming.

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It is like being told to wear short white skirt to do a horseback riding for the first time and being expected to not lose balance, fall, get dirty or be embarrassed. Okay, I know the analogy is not quite realistic. But so is the expectation.

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K-bye!

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Posted in Inside Enida, Sense | Leave a Comment »

Overwrite

November 17, 2014 by Enida

Kitreena's Handwriting

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I used to get unnecessarily overworked with my own unnecessary worries over Kitreena’s handwriting. At 3 and a half, she decided that her letter ‘b’ should look like a ‘d’. But the theory that people change is proven correct. She has changed. She has grown. Beautifully so.

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Posted in Monchies | Tagged | Leave a Comment »

Didn’t I?

November 17, 2014 by Enida

I did. . .

I purposely took some time away for myself and with myself to sit me down so I can write what I have been wanting to say. I really wanted to say how much I treasure this last year especially, for I have stood up for myself. For I have finally stopped letting me be a reserved player. Yes, I wanted to say it. Probably not that way, and not in those words exactly. But I wanted to say it.

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I did.

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I wanted to thank my husband (still is my husband although he has taken up another woman to sleep in our bed – his bed now, not our bed, because I left him – to clean his place top to bottom, to cook him breakfast, lunch and dinner, and to treat him right. Something he claims I never did. Or maybe something I never did right).

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I did.

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I really wanted to thank him profoundly. For all his love and appreciation. And perhaps for his speedy recovery from the pain I inflicted upon him by leaving Moscow. I wanted time and space.  Not a divorce. But since he thinks he doesn’t love me anymore and is not willing to let go of a woman who is standing by him right now – something he claimed I didn’t do – maybe I should agree that a divorce would be the best for both of us.

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I did.

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Written on: March 11th, 2011.

Published on: November 17th, 2014.

The reason for this entry not published on the date it was written:
I had to learn to let time tell the story. Words were inadequate.

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Posted in Hurt, Inside Enida | Leave a Comment »

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